So this is pretty much going to be an unscheduled and mostly improvised post. I watched the new karate kid movie with Jackie Chan and Will Smith's kid, and I just started having many thoughts about movies that I would like to share with anyone who wants to read them. Also, something I have been meaning to say, I really don't care how good my grammar or punctuation usage is. I haven't had anyone complain about it yet, but if there is something wrong with it I really don't care. If you do think there is something wrong with my punctuation I probably did it to annoy you. At least that is what I would say to a person if confronted about it. So I have said my peace about that, and now I can move on.
So this new karate kid movie wasn't bad, i love Jackie Chan movies because he is awesome and also because freaking girls don't obsess about him. I can't even give an actor a chance if girls start obsessing about him. I will give you an example. Leo Dicaprio, or however you spell it, girls obsessed about him after Titanic came out. Why? I have no clue, he was really annoying in that movie. I am pretty sure that I clapped when he died at the end. Oh, and for those who haven't seen it for some reason and I just ruined the ending for you, I am doing you a favor. Those are 3 hours that I will never get back from my life. So you are welcome. Another guy is Orlando Bloom. He is the reason I didn't want to see LOTR, if you don't understand that acronym google it, because I am not gonna spend the time to write it out. Also, he ruined the Pirates movies, actually I think the writers ruined the second and third, but he definitely held the first one back from its true potential. Don't even get me started on Hayden Christensen and the Star Wars films. Anyway, what I was getting at is that Jackie Chan rocks.
So the movie started out with Jaden Smith and his widowed mother in Detroit and you find out that he is moving to China. He gets to China and he encounters the first problem of the movie. He thinks he can beat a chinese man in ping pong. What a moron right? They practically invented that game, that is common knowledge. Then the stupid kid gets in a fight with a chinese kid defending some girl. That is moron move number 2. How could a 12 year old think he could fight a chinese kid? The chinese invented kung fu too, so of course he gets beaten up. I am not sure what I actually knew when I was 12, but I certainly knew never to compete in anything with a chinese person. That is just common sense. Other stereotypical common sense things are: that black people are naturally talented at everything; and that white people are good at nothing, but somehow get ahead in everything they do...So after he gets in the fight he wants to get trained in karate to impress the girl. And to save time and paper I am going to skip a few details...
So the movie goes on and on...blah blah blah. Then it got to the end where, you guessed it, he fights the kid he got in a fight with in the beginning of the movie in a king fu tournament. That is surprising, I didn't guess that was gonna happen...NOT! Spoiler alert: of course he wins the stupid tournament, but only after getting his leg almost broken, or completely broken, they were never really clear on that. But anyway, he is all happy and so is everyone else and then the movie ends.
While that ending was nice, there is always a side of me that just wants the main characters to die every once in a while. Like at the climax of the movie when they are suppose to defeat whatever the antagonist is, I just want them to fail. This is the reason that I only watch comedies, because it's obvious that things are gonna end up good at the end, but the story doesn't suck me in that much. I just watch them for the humor. Serious movies are too easy to predict. I think that there should be some movies where the protagonist of the movie gets to the huge climax of the movie and dies or fails really easily. I will give you an example of a movie I would change. Gone in Sixty Seconds. You know the part at the end when he steals the Shelby GT 500, the car that he saved for the end because he is scared of it? I have some questions about that before I completely ruin the ending of it. Why would he save that car for the end if he is scared of it? Wouldn't that be the first car to steal if you were afraid? Also, why does Nicholas Cage have to steal it? If he is scared of it have someone else steal it that isn't scared by inanimate things. By the way, I love this movie so I can talk bad about it. So anyway, at the end he steals the car, what if he gets in the car starts it up, then pulls out of the garage and runs out of gas? The movie is over, thanks Murphy's law you just made a movie more interesting.
I think a lot about things in movies. Like, why does gas never run out in a persons car that is being driven for a long period of time? Why don't people ever have to stop in the middle of doing something because they have to pee? Why do people never seem hungry or thirsty when they haven't eaten for days, because they are tracking their kidnapped daughter? (Taken reference) Oh I just thought of another movie to ruin...Wanted. For those of you who haven't seen it, this kid is trying to learn how to curve a bullet, and he can't do it because he is a moron. So Angelina Jolie steps in front of the target so that he will have more need to do it right. Anyway, wouldn't it have been hilarious if he still couldn't do it? He just shoots her right in the face. I have a twisted sense of humor, because I would have laughed my head off.
i kind of want to make a movie where I build up this main character, and then he dies for a really stupid reason in the middle of the movie. Then the movie keeps going and follows the unimportant characters through the rest of the movie. I guess that is kind of how The Other Guys was, but my movie would be way better because I made it. If you aren't getting any of my movie references you are probably just wasting your time reading this. Maybe you should get a life and go watch some movies. Don't read books though, because they ruin movies. Like Harry Potter, the movies suck. I am sorry if you are a nerd/person with bad taste in movies, but they are awful. And I refuse to read the books. 1. because they are long. 2. because it is a possibility that I would like them, and that is a gamble I am not willing to take. Another reason I prefer to watch movies is because in the time a person can read a book I have watched like 4 or 5 movies. I don't care if they are different from their paper counterparts. They were shorter and more pleasing to all of my senses. You can't listen to a soundtrack of a book. And honestly, my imagination isn't good enough to make a hot girl up in my mind from reading a description. Maybe if after the character's description the book said something like "She looked kinda like a younger Catherine Zeta Jones." Then maybe that wouldn't be a problem. Also, I get distracted a lot less when I am watching a movie then when I am struggling to read a book. And I really don't care to look like a nerd, because stereotypes say that nerds read books. I have a reputation to withhold and I can't ruin it doing things that could make me look uncool. Random thought, did you know that the only real way to tell if someone is a man or a woman is to look at their fingers? It's true, a man's index finger is shorter than his ring finger, whereas a woman's index finger is longer than her ring finger. On that note I will bid you all adieu until next time.
Bye now :)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Men are not confusing!
I think after my last post some people got the wrong impression about me because of a certain comment I made about african american males. The truth is that I love black people. When I was in elementary I wanted to be black. I watched more Will Smith movies and Fresh Prince than most white people watch in their entire lives. So, what I am trying to say is that I am not racist. I do own a color t.v. after all.
Ok, now to what this post is really about. Why are women confused by men? I can't even count the number of times girls have asked me, "Jake, why are guys so confusing?" Seriously, this happens often. I don't want to keep explaining this to women who aren't interested in me. So I am going to give my explanation in detail and hopefully I will never have to answer that question again.
The first thing women need to understand is that men are stupid. I don't think that we actually have the mental capacity to confuse anyone. Do rocks confuse people? The answer to that is no, unless you are a geologist. Basically what I am trying to say is if you are getting confused by a guy, you better be a geologist. Men are very simple. If you want to get a guy to like you, treat him like you would a dog. Give us treats, pat our heads when we do something good, take us on walks, talk to us about what's on your mind. Like canines we won't know what you are talking about or even be listening because we are easily distracted, but at least you can feel better that you got to talk about your emotions and whatever else you girls complain about. Yes, I realize my chances of ever getting a girlfriend just dropped by 80% after that remark. But why do I have to get the shaft when I am just a messenger of the truth? Ok, some guys actually do listen and respond honestly caring about you, but that doesn't mean that they are gonna remember 10 years down the road when they do exactly what you told them they shouldn't do. So what I am trying to say is that men need to be constantly reminded of things, and rewarded for those things when we do it right, or we will most likely forget.
The second thing women need to understand is that men are shallow. I think I covered this pretty well in my last blog.
The third thing women need to understand is that it is women that are confusing and men that are confused. I believe this is the real reason that girls get confused by men, it's because they are confusing themselves. They overanalyze everything. If a guy says anything to a girl and she likes him she will start thinking and thinking about what he said. Eventually she will come to the conclusion that when he asked her for a piece of gum that he was really telling her that he wanted 3 kids with her, 2 girls and a boy. I understand that some guys do a lot more than just ask for a piece of gum, some guys make out with girls and never talk to them again. That is because some guys are douchebags (see my last blog). Oh, while I am on the subject of making out...What's the deal with people who go to movies and make out through the whole thing? You do realize that you are paying $15+ to do something that can easily be done for free in your car, or on the couch in your living room right? This brings up another question that will get me even further off subject. When I was in high school there was this spanish boyfriend and girlfriend that would follow my friend and I around at lunch and make out in front of us. The even more strange thing about this is that they would take breaks from making out and look over at us to see if we were watching them. What the heck was that about? If someone has an explanation for that please let me know, I have wondered for over 5 years about what that was about. Oh, speaking of spanish people, don't ever randomly wave and say hi to a spanish guy in a blue Jetta. Trust me, it sounds fun, but it is more trouble than it is worth. Back to what I was saying...Seriously, girls don't confuse yourself thinking about a guy's actions, because there is no way that a guy has the intelligence to do something, and mean something else by it. I am not saying that it is impossible. I am just saying it is highly unlikely, because guys are lazy and it would take a very long time for a guy to plan out something as complex as a woman is thinking.
I am now going to give the women reading this some tips on how not to get confused by men, and how not to confuse them.
-Don't over think the things we say or do. We don't put any thought into things we do, neither should you.
-If you like a guy, you should probably tell him, because there is no way he is gonna find out unless you tell him. If you are trying to give him hints that you like him you are wasting your time. Also, when you tell him, tell him directly in simple wording anything more than that and you are back to square one.
-If a guy gives you a lot of attention, takes you out to eat, does nice things for you, and compliments you a lot. Even though you think you are just friends, he most likely likes you. Don't take advantage of him, if you don't like him, tell him so that he stops giving you things. We are stupid and will continue to give you things until you give us a restraining order.
-Don't tell a guy that you don't want to be in a relationship with anyone when what you are really saying is that you don't want a relationship with him. Remember guys are stupid and we will believe you.
-Don't be naive, if you want a genuine nice guy you are gonna have to lower your standards on looks.
-The final tip is just to remember that almost every question that a girl has about a guy can be answered easily by the fact that guys are stupid.
To finish I would like to invite you to watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiVCD9QMAMI which explains the difference between a man's brain and a woman's brain.
Ok, now to what this post is really about. Why are women confused by men? I can't even count the number of times girls have asked me, "Jake, why are guys so confusing?" Seriously, this happens often. I don't want to keep explaining this to women who aren't interested in me. So I am going to give my explanation in detail and hopefully I will never have to answer that question again.
The first thing women need to understand is that men are stupid. I don't think that we actually have the mental capacity to confuse anyone. Do rocks confuse people? The answer to that is no, unless you are a geologist. Basically what I am trying to say is if you are getting confused by a guy, you better be a geologist. Men are very simple. If you want to get a guy to like you, treat him like you would a dog. Give us treats, pat our heads when we do something good, take us on walks, talk to us about what's on your mind. Like canines we won't know what you are talking about or even be listening because we are easily distracted, but at least you can feel better that you got to talk about your emotions and whatever else you girls complain about. Yes, I realize my chances of ever getting a girlfriend just dropped by 80% after that remark. But why do I have to get the shaft when I am just a messenger of the truth? Ok, some guys actually do listen and respond honestly caring about you, but that doesn't mean that they are gonna remember 10 years down the road when they do exactly what you told them they shouldn't do. So what I am trying to say is that men need to be constantly reminded of things, and rewarded for those things when we do it right, or we will most likely forget.
The second thing women need to understand is that men are shallow. I think I covered this pretty well in my last blog.
The third thing women need to understand is that it is women that are confusing and men that are confused. I believe this is the real reason that girls get confused by men, it's because they are confusing themselves. They overanalyze everything. If a guy says anything to a girl and she likes him she will start thinking and thinking about what he said. Eventually she will come to the conclusion that when he asked her for a piece of gum that he was really telling her that he wanted 3 kids with her, 2 girls and a boy. I understand that some guys do a lot more than just ask for a piece of gum, some guys make out with girls and never talk to them again. That is because some guys are douchebags (see my last blog). Oh, while I am on the subject of making out...What's the deal with people who go to movies and make out through the whole thing? You do realize that you are paying $15+ to do something that can easily be done for free in your car, or on the couch in your living room right? This brings up another question that will get me even further off subject. When I was in high school there was this spanish boyfriend and girlfriend that would follow my friend and I around at lunch and make out in front of us. The even more strange thing about this is that they would take breaks from making out and look over at us to see if we were watching them. What the heck was that about? If someone has an explanation for that please let me know, I have wondered for over 5 years about what that was about. Oh, speaking of spanish people, don't ever randomly wave and say hi to a spanish guy in a blue Jetta. Trust me, it sounds fun, but it is more trouble than it is worth. Back to what I was saying...Seriously, girls don't confuse yourself thinking about a guy's actions, because there is no way that a guy has the intelligence to do something, and mean something else by it. I am not saying that it is impossible. I am just saying it is highly unlikely, because guys are lazy and it would take a very long time for a guy to plan out something as complex as a woman is thinking.
I am now going to give the women reading this some tips on how not to get confused by men, and how not to confuse them.
-Don't over think the things we say or do. We don't put any thought into things we do, neither should you.
-If you like a guy, you should probably tell him, because there is no way he is gonna find out unless you tell him. If you are trying to give him hints that you like him you are wasting your time. Also, when you tell him, tell him directly in simple wording anything more than that and you are back to square one.
-If a guy gives you a lot of attention, takes you out to eat, does nice things for you, and compliments you a lot. Even though you think you are just friends, he most likely likes you. Don't take advantage of him, if you don't like him, tell him so that he stops giving you things. We are stupid and will continue to give you things until you give us a restraining order.
-Don't tell a guy that you don't want to be in a relationship with anyone when what you are really saying is that you don't want a relationship with him. Remember guys are stupid and we will believe you.
-Don't be naive, if you want a genuine nice guy you are gonna have to lower your standards on looks.
-The final tip is just to remember that almost every question that a girl has about a guy can be answered easily by the fact that guys are stupid.
To finish I would like to invite you to watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiVCD9QMAMI which explains the difference between a man's brain and a woman's brain.
Monday, February 14, 2011
How to tell if if you are a douchebag
Ok so here it is. Everyone needs to understand one thing before I start this probably somewhat controversial and very opinionated list of characteristics. The reason I am doing this is because I care. I am sick of douchebags and I am sure they are sick of themselves too. Ok they probably aren't. Honestly, if I was a D-bag, ps I am gonna say D-bag now because douchebag takes like 4 more key strokes, I probably wouldn't want to change. Here is why: hot girls. It doesn't matter how stupid, mean, and...all I can think of is stupid and mean. But the point is that even though they are the way they are, they still get incredibly hot girls. I know that some people are reading this and saying, "Jake you are shallow." and to that I say "Duh!" If you haven't noticed I am a guy. Spoiler alert women, almost all guys are shallow, and the rest are black. We all know black guys like big women, which balances the world. So women this means that if you are married to anyone other than a black man you are attractive. At least according to my theory, which I admit I just made up while I was writing it. It sounded about right so I went with it.
There were also other things I was thinking about doing instead of how to tell if you are a D-bag. The ones I was really considering were actresses that think they are hot but aren't, and how to tell if you are fat. Unfortunately for both, the list was too short. For actresses the only one I could think of was Drew Barrymore, but in all honestly I didn't give it much thought, I just saw that cover girl commercial and almost threw up. And for the fat one it was just look in the mirror. So really I got 3 lists of things.
Also before I start this list I want to say Happy Valentines to all the couples out there. I am so happy that you are happy and I am still single. I am not bitter, I enjoy being single. I don't have to learn first hand that girls actually fart. I still don't believe its true, and will continue to be close minded about the subject. Also, I don't have to get into arguments that I know I am gonna lose. Let's face it...girls always win, doesn't matter if they are right or wrong. I am ok with that fact, women have to deal with child birth, and that annoying monthly problem, and they have to deal with men. I say that they deserve to win all the arguments. The final reason I am ok being single is because I get my alone time. And we all know what guys do with their alone time...they play video games! Nothing gets me in a good mood like video games. That and ice cream. Maybe an Adam Sandler movie. By the way, Just Go With It was such a funny movie. If you like Adam Sandler films this movie is for you. Have I gotten off subject enough? Oh by the way this list isn't an official list or anything, if you don't agree with something I say then keep it to yourself, or feel free to comment and make suggestions of other things that can be on the list. Mmmkay?
Alright on with the list! Wait!!!! hold up...stop everything! Who proposes on valentines day? I just got a text saying that my friend is engaged. If I was a girl I would say no because it is so cliche. I mean seriously people. Get a little creative, it is the girl you plan to be with for, at least, life. If you propose on V-day, ps I am gonna save on keystrokes for this one too, you are basically saying, "hey, just so you know don't expect any surprises from me." Sure she is gonna be excited, she is engaged. But nothing beats completely random out of nowhere knock your teeth out proposals. That's what she will remember forever. What is she gonna say about your V-day proposal? Probably something lame, that's what. Maybe I should add that to the list. If you propose on V-day you are a D-bag. No, I am sure there are nice boring people that propose on V-day. Ok, so this whole rant was for no reason. Who texts you saying they are engaged 2 days after they proposed? Come on people! I have said enough, if you are still with me here we go.
How to tell if you are a douche bag:
-fohawk, need I say more?
-30% to 50% of your conversation consists of curse words
-you laugh more at your own jokes than any one else does
-you played a sport in highschool
-you have dated more than 5 really hot girls
-you work out more than 4 times a week
-you wear mostly skin tight shirts and designer jeans...that might also mean you are gay
-you have an obviously low IQ
-people call you a douche bag
-you drive a lifted truck and blow smoke every time you accelerate
-you say you play guitar but only know 3 songs and you play them very poorly
-you take pictures of yourself with your shirt off and put them on facebook
-you have made out with more than twice the amount of girls that you have dated
-you had to stop and figure out if the last characteristic applied to you
-you idolize Dane Cook
-you play primarily sports video games
-you don't think The Big Bang Theory is funny because you don't understand any of the jokes
-you make fun of people that are smarter than you
-you go tanning
-you were popular in high school
-your emotions are expressed in a more primitive matter than the average person
If you answered yes to most of these questions there is a high chance that I hate you. There is also a high chance that other people hate you. And there is a high change you are a DOUCHEBAG.
P.S. If you have a suggestion for something I should BS about let me know and I will consider it.
&hearts <3
There were also other things I was thinking about doing instead of how to tell if you are a D-bag. The ones I was really considering were actresses that think they are hot but aren't, and how to tell if you are fat. Unfortunately for both, the list was too short. For actresses the only one I could think of was Drew Barrymore, but in all honestly I didn't give it much thought, I just saw that cover girl commercial and almost threw up. And for the fat one it was just look in the mirror. So really I got 3 lists of things.
Also before I start this list I want to say Happy Valentines to all the couples out there. I am so happy that you are happy and I am still single. I am not bitter, I enjoy being single. I don't have to learn first hand that girls actually fart. I still don't believe its true, and will continue to be close minded about the subject. Also, I don't have to get into arguments that I know I am gonna lose. Let's face it...girls always win, doesn't matter if they are right or wrong. I am ok with that fact, women have to deal with child birth, and that annoying monthly problem, and they have to deal with men. I say that they deserve to win all the arguments. The final reason I am ok being single is because I get my alone time. And we all know what guys do with their alone time...they play video games! Nothing gets me in a good mood like video games. That and ice cream. Maybe an Adam Sandler movie. By the way, Just Go With It was such a funny movie. If you like Adam Sandler films this movie is for you. Have I gotten off subject enough? Oh by the way this list isn't an official list or anything, if you don't agree with something I say then keep it to yourself, or feel free to comment and make suggestions of other things that can be on the list. Mmmkay?
Alright on with the list! Wait!!!! hold up...stop everything! Who proposes on valentines day? I just got a text saying that my friend is engaged. If I was a girl I would say no because it is so cliche. I mean seriously people. Get a little creative, it is the girl you plan to be with for, at least, life. If you propose on V-day, ps I am gonna save on keystrokes for this one too, you are basically saying, "hey, just so you know don't expect any surprises from me." Sure she is gonna be excited, she is engaged. But nothing beats completely random out of nowhere knock your teeth out proposals. That's what she will remember forever. What is she gonna say about your V-day proposal? Probably something lame, that's what. Maybe I should add that to the list. If you propose on V-day you are a D-bag. No, I am sure there are nice boring people that propose on V-day. Ok, so this whole rant was for no reason. Who texts you saying they are engaged 2 days after they proposed? Come on people! I have said enough, if you are still with me here we go.
How to tell if you are a douche bag:
-fohawk, need I say more?
-30% to 50% of your conversation consists of curse words
-you laugh more at your own jokes than any one else does
-you played a sport in highschool
-you have dated more than 5 really hot girls
-you work out more than 4 times a week
-you wear mostly skin tight shirts and designer jeans...that might also mean you are gay
-you have an obviously low IQ
-people call you a douche bag
-you drive a lifted truck and blow smoke every time you accelerate
-you say you play guitar but only know 3 songs and you play them very poorly
-you take pictures of yourself with your shirt off and put them on facebook
-you have made out with more than twice the amount of girls that you have dated
-you had to stop and figure out if the last characteristic applied to you
-you idolize Dane Cook
-you play primarily sports video games
-you don't think The Big Bang Theory is funny because you don't understand any of the jokes
-you make fun of people that are smarter than you
-you go tanning
-you were popular in high school
-your emotions are expressed in a more primitive matter than the average person
If you answered yes to most of these questions there is a high chance that I hate you. There is also a high chance that other people hate you. And there is a high change you are a DOUCHEBAG.
P.S. If you have a suggestion for something I should BS about let me know and I will consider it.
&hearts <3
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Bananas and toilet paper
Who hates commercials lately? I do! There are only two types of commercials that should be able to be aired. Funny commercials and informative commercials that are not funny, but after you watch them you say to yourself "wow I just learned something". And maybe those sad dog commercials that make people cry because Sarah McLachlan's music is playing while its showing dogs without an eye, or a dog with a leg missing or something. I think its funny that there aren't any commercials about cats like that. If there were a commercial with cats that are disfigured and messed up people would probably laugh because cats are horrible. On a side note I read an FML last night that really confused my emotions. This girls sister had just lost her leg, and she told her boyfriend when she found out the awful news. Right after he heard he said she should get a job at IHOP. It's sad because someone lost a leg, but its funny because of the other part. Thus my emotions were confused. Anyway back to what this is really about. There was a commercial on this morning for Scott toilet paper that was neither informative or funny. I can't remember the details because it was stupid, but all I could think of was that there is no need to have a commercial for toilet paper. Also, there is no need to have a commercial for KY or tampons or anything that has to do with hygiene and/or your butt. The only way that they should need to have a commercial for toilet paper is if it wipes for you. Tell me that wouldn't be a commercial you would be ok seeing. If they come out with toilet paper that wipes hands free, or hand free i guess, I would buy that in a heart beat. I am honestly surprised they haven't come out with that yet. I mean the bidet is a great idea. I personally don't know how well it works, but if it is thorough then I want one. I heard once that they work really well, but I have also heard other ridiculous things from people that weren't accurate. Wow, now that I think about it, the bidet is an amazing idea. I mean how much money do we, Americans, spend on toilet paper every year? No, seriously how much? I don't know. I guess I could google it, but that would ruin my train of thought. You know what would be even better? If your toilet cleaned your entire body after you use it! Wouldn't that be great? A shower toilet? I don't know how many times I have felt the need to shower after using the bathroom. And I am certain that everyone else feels the same.
Bananas! So I ate a half an orange and a banana for breakfast. The orange was great, The banana did not meet my expectations. Seriously, don't they scientifically alter all the fruit now so that my fruit tastes good, is huge, and whatnot? Well if they do then I got a failure today. If they don't, then I apologize nature, but your fruit is sub par. Also, if scientists do alter fruits, couldn't they get rid of those things inside the peel of the banana? You know what I am talking about. Those line things, I am sure there is a proper name or some latin word for them. I hate those things, first of all you had to peel your banana, then with those things you have to peel it like 5 more times, but it's more annoying because unlike the actual peel of the banana these line things break off when you are peeling them off. Have I lost anyone yet? I feel like sometimes I notice things that people don't. Like maybe I am the only person that actually notices those things on bananas and everyone is thinking what are you talking about. And now they have stopped reading this. If I haven't lost you then I have wasted about 5 or 10 seconds of your time. Unless you are a slow reader, then I have wasted way more than that. If you are a slow reader what are you doing reading this blog anyway? I love being able to erase things I have written. I just erased like 4 or 5 lines of stuff, and no one will ever know what it said. So back to bananas...I licked my feet when i was like 4 or 5 years old. Isn't that weird? What was i thinking? You know what the sad part is? No one ever told me not too. It's not like you understand anything at that age. How was I suppose to know that it was really gross? I don't remember how it tasted, I assume my taste buds weren't developed at all. And I also assume that when people saw me doing it they just figured it was ok because I was building my immune system.
So to sum up. Commercials are dumb, and bananas are annoying, but I will continue to eat them.
Bananas! So I ate a half an orange and a banana for breakfast. The orange was great, The banana did not meet my expectations. Seriously, don't they scientifically alter all the fruit now so that my fruit tastes good, is huge, and whatnot? Well if they do then I got a failure today. If they don't, then I apologize nature, but your fruit is sub par. Also, if scientists do alter fruits, couldn't they get rid of those things inside the peel of the banana? You know what I am talking about. Those line things, I am sure there is a proper name or some latin word for them. I hate those things, first of all you had to peel your banana, then with those things you have to peel it like 5 more times, but it's more annoying because unlike the actual peel of the banana these line things break off when you are peeling them off. Have I lost anyone yet? I feel like sometimes I notice things that people don't. Like maybe I am the only person that actually notices those things on bananas and everyone is thinking what are you talking about. And now they have stopped reading this. If I haven't lost you then I have wasted about 5 or 10 seconds of your time. Unless you are a slow reader, then I have wasted way more than that. If you are a slow reader what are you doing reading this blog anyway? I love being able to erase things I have written. I just erased like 4 or 5 lines of stuff, and no one will ever know what it said. So back to bananas...I licked my feet when i was like 4 or 5 years old. Isn't that weird? What was i thinking? You know what the sad part is? No one ever told me not too. It's not like you understand anything at that age. How was I suppose to know that it was really gross? I don't remember how it tasted, I assume my taste buds weren't developed at all. And I also assume that when people saw me doing it they just figured it was ok because I was building my immune system.
So to sum up. Commercials are dumb, and bananas are annoying, but I will continue to eat them.
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