Ok here is the deal. At first I thought it was just one person's inside joke so I was ok with it. Then I saw more and more people doing it. So I googled it, and I found out that not only is it not just an inside joke, it has a facebook page with 472,555 likes. What is this phenomenon you ask. It is planking. Wikipedia defines planking as:
"The lying down game (also known as planking, or face downs) is an activity, popular in various parts of the world, consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body, and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the Internet is an integral part of the game. Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play. The location should also be as public as possible, and as many people as possible should be involved."
Does anyone else find this as stupid as I do? My question is how can something this lame be such a hype? It seems like everyone is doing it too. Friends on facebook that I thought were sane and logical people are laying down and taking these ridiculous pictures of themselves lying down on random crap. I think I am gonna start a new picture taking craze called standing. What you do is you stand some where and someone takes a picture of you. The rules are that you have to have your hands awkwardly placed inside your pants, your feet have to be out to the side like a ballerina, and you have to try to bite your ear. The more weirded out and disturbed people that you capture in the picture the better your picture is. I expect to see at least 100 photos of this on facebook by next weekend. Seriously though, who makes this crap up? Maybe a guy suffering from catatonic rigidity and narcolepsy was on a boat and nearly fell overboard, but got stuck on the edge of the boat. Then some guy took a picture of him, and said "dude, that guy was totally like a plank." That is just my theory of how something like this could have manifested. I am not sure. All I know is that I personally think it is a very stupid thing, and that gigs, maybe even terabytes, of space are being wasted with these pictures. If I had children and they were involved in this planking crap I would disown them, and if they continued on with their idiotic ways I would kill them. I will not have my name be ruined. If I had kids that stupid it would be my responsibility to get rid of them. That is the problem with the world today. Sickness isn't getting rid of the idiots fast enough and parents aren't doing their part in getting rid of the stupid ones either. Back in the day, the stupid and sickly children would have died at young ages, but now they live and pollute the world with their stupidity because of medical advancements. I will be the first to admit that I am one of those idiots polluting the world, but fortunately I don't pollute it with pictures of me laying down on stupid stuff.
I am now going to talk about another form of pollution. I can't believe it has taken me so long to blog about this one. I would never gamble. Why you ask? I will tell you. I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke, or any kind of smoke for that matter. Campfire smoke is the most tolerable, but even then it is quite annoying. If you are a smoker and you get offended easily I suggest you stop reading now, because I don't have many nice things to say about you. I am sure that there are polite and humane smokers out there, but you make about .0001% of the smoker population. The rest of you are all jerks and I hope that the next cigarette you smoke kills you. I have a question first, as I usually do, how is smoking enticing? How exactly did you get into that whole life style of pissing off regular air breathers such as myself? Did you think to yourself "hmm, I am sick of breathing normal air. I think I am gonna go breath some smoke." Obviously, they sold them back in the day as a way to calm you down, but there is so much anti-smoking stuff out now that only an idiot would start. Yet, they still continue to smoke. So here it is, why I can't stand smokers.
There is a law in Utah that proves to be apparently pointless. Yet, there are signs everywhere about it. It is the sign that you are smoking next to, I believe it says "NO SMOKING WITHIN 25 FEET OF BUILDING." It is possible that with your smoke blowing all over the place you might be reading it as "SMOKE RIGHT NEXT TO THE BUILDING AND MAKING SURE THAT YOU BLOW SMOKE RIGHT AT THE GROUPS OF PEOPLE WALKING INTO THIS BUILDING." Unfortunately, you are reading it wrong. It is possible that smokers are uneducated and can't read. I would believe this since it was in elementary that they taught us not to smoke. Either way it is rude, and I would appreciate it if you would obey the law. Another thing that bothers me about smokers is how much they litter. I use to work at a gas station, and I had to clean up hundreds of cigarette butts every night when I swept the parking lot. A job that could have taken 3 minutes turned into a 10+ minute job because smokers didn't put their cigarette butts in a freaking ash tray. I don't get serious about very many things, but smokers anger me beyond belief. ARRGGG!
New subject...gays. I personally don't have a problem with them, I don't think what they are doing is right. But I will just let natural selection have its way with them. I do have an opinion about them though. I believe that a lot of gay people are being gay just because they want to be accepted. I am certain that there are actual gay people, but I am also certain that there are just a lot of people that want to belong and feel like they are a part of something. Here is how I know. I saw a gay guy the other day, and for quite some time I was trying to figure out if it was a guy or a girl. It took me at least 2 minutes of staring to finally figure it out. So, I started to think a little bit. It doesn't make sense that a gay guy would be attracted to another guy that looks like a girl. It also doesn't make sense that a gay woman would be attracted to a girl that looks like a guy. Are you following? Here is where I believe the distinction between real gay people and pretend gay people lies. If a gay guy is attracted to a guy that looks like a woman it would seem that he is straight would it not? The only difference between this guy and your average guy is the second that a normal guy finds out its a guy, he looks away and throws up a little in his mouth because he realizes he was just checking out a guy. I hope I am making a clear point here, it only makes sense to me that this is the case. I personally don't understand how a woman could be attracted to guy, they are slobby, lazy, stupid, and lazy. I mean, I enjoy being friends with other guys because we all share the stupid gene together so we get along, but men being attracted to other men? I mean there is something wrong there. I am sorry for those people. Women on the other hand are praised for their beauty, it makes sense to me that women would be attracted to other women just because women are actually attractive. This doesn't mean that I think that it is right in any way, I just understand how it could happen. Anyway, what I am getting at is that a guy attracted to a guy that looks like a girl just doesn't make any sense, just go after a girl. They are more attractive and they make you food.
By the way, I would never kill one of my children. I was joking around. Just in case you were wondering.
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