I Am Making A Plan To Stop Making Plans

This probably sounds like it is going to be a whiney post about how people suck, and never follow through on their plans. While you are correct in your assumption, I am also going to try and be as objective as I can about this topic. I don't want to bore you to death with my problems like everyone else online does to me. I am going to try my hardest to make this entertaining for you guys.

Making a plan for anything is just stupid. What you are really doing is setting yourself up to get let down. How many times have you made a plan, and it has completely fallen through? Ok, now subtract the times that it was your fault, because I want to just focus on things that are out of your control. Ok, now divide that number by the amount of times that you have made a plan. If you don't know how many times you have made a plan, then maybe you should keep better records of your plan making. Ok, what is the percentage that you came up with? Mine was 99%. Yes, I did make that number up on the spot based on my current feelings. Because, it seems like 99% of the time it is other people screwing up my plans. I don't need to do math to figure that out. All of that adding and dividing was just filler, because I didn't know what I was going to say at that moment. I am pretty much just writing this as I am thinking. Ok, so 99% of the time it is your fault that my plans don't work out. Why don't you want me to be happy? I try to be nice and inviting to you, and even, depending on your gender, offer to buy you dinner. Yes I am talking about making plans with women. Do you think I really give a crap about hanging out with some dude. That is going to happen any way. I have no problems keeping plans with guys, because they, like me, are always doing nothing because their plans were canceled by women too. If it seems like most of my posts are about being angry toward women, then you are very observant. Yes, I am angry at women. I didn't ask them to ruin my life. I didn't ask them to be incredibly attractive, and make me wish I were dead. I don't blame nature, because I am not native american. Trust me, if I could talk to nature I would give it a piece of my mind. But, because I am not Pocahontas I have to channel my anger to the next source of my frustration which happens to be females. If I could turn off the switch in my brain that makes me think I need to impress and obtain women, then my life would immediately become easy. Could you imagine the world if all men did that. I mean the gays have the right idea. You know, except for the being attracted to men part. They just overshot too much. I want the middle ground. Where I don't give a crap about anything, and I can just live without the neediness and constant feeling of inadequacy. Oh, this is completely off topic, but I found out why people drink. I went to my company Christmas party, and they were giving out prizes. They had just enough prizes to make 1/3 of the company want to kill themselves. You know that feeling when they are drawing names for multiple $500 prizes, and you keep thinking it is going to be you, but then it isn't? Yeah, it's right after that. When you don't win, and everyone around you did. Not to say that I picked up drinking, but there was that thought in my mind. It wasn't so I could drown my sorrows or anything. I just wanted to find a quick way to kill my brain cells so that I wouldn't remember not winning an iPad. Unfortunately, I don't drink. So the memory of people winning prizes still haunts me. Have I guilted you into buying me an iPad yet? If not, I can tell you the story of when I was almost homeless. Maybe then you will get one for me. I am not gonna buy one. Are you kidding me? I have no use for it.  It is just a big iPhone, but with cool touch features. I just want one dangit, and I am not going to pay for it either. 

I can't even remember what I was talking about now. I am just pissed, because I don't have an iPad. I think I was talking about how I want to be uninfluenced by women, or something like that. That is basically my point. If I am not influenced by women, then I will be less likely to make plans. Then I will finally be able to go a week without feeling sorry for myself, because someone canceled their plans with me. I am not talking about just one person either. This is multiple people that continuously cancel plans. That is why I am so pissed to the point of writing about it. The moral of this post is don't make plans with people (women), because they will inevitably let you down. It is best to just be a loner, and not have people (women) in your life. People (women) are there just to make your life terrible, and cause you to think that you are worthless. It is people (women) that are the cause of all sadness in the world. So go kill yourself so that you can be happy.

Merry Christmas!

Why I Probably Need A Wife

So I may have mentioned this all before, but I feel like saying it again. You gotta problem with that? Here is the deal. I am naturally indecisive, and I naturally lack motivation. I am sure it is because of some psychological problem that stems from my childhood, but nonetheless it is a fact. So how do I get past those problems then? Well I will tell you. From my experience when a girl gives me attention I automatically begin to do things against my nature. For instance, I will start thinking ridiculous things like I need to start working out, and start eating better. Maybe I should stop playing video games as much as I do, and pick up a book. A lot of guys are like that, but after the attention wears off you are back at the same place you were. Eating fast food, sitting naked in a bean bag chair playing Call of Duty all night, and refusing to take a shower. So here is my solution to doing things that are good for me. Get married. Just like inanimate objects we are also subject to newtons laws. I have inertia of the mind as well as the body. Generally, until I am told to do a task the task doesn't exist in my mind. This is why there can be a pile of dishes in the sink, 3 bags of trash, and a baby playing with razor blades and a guy won't do anything about it. His mind is at rest. It is only until the screaming wife freaks out, and yells at him to fix those things that his mind and body can begin to move. It's all physics people. This is also why men can do a task that is seemingly mindless for hours. They were put in motion, and they haven't had an outside force to stop them. Obviously, some mindless tasks cause more inertia than others. Take watching tv or playing video games for instance. If a guy is doing one of those, and his wife is telling him to do something like take out the trash or change a diaper. That is pretty much the equivalent of stopping a semi truck going 50 mph with a kitten. That is why the wife in this instance has to start yelling at him. Slowly the kitten begins to turn into something big enough to cause that semi truck to stop. This is why there are so many more homeless men than women. They got stuck in that state of rest, and there was no woman to get him out of it. Is this making sense yet? Either way I think I am getting a little off track. My point is that I need someone who gives me motivation. Otherwise I will remain at my current state of mindlessness and bad habits. It is a bad place to be. I don't really feel like working, because any kind of work sucks pretty much. I would much rather be doing nothing than doing something. It is definitely easier, and what am I working for right now? To not be in debt? Well that is just stupid. I am gonna be in debt whether or not I work or decide to not work. I might as well be in debt while I am relaxing and not doing anything. Right? At least that is the way I feel. Now if there was another person involved to say "Jake, get your A** out of bed, and go to work. We need grocery money. Oh, and when you get off work we are going to the gym so you can lose all that fat you acquired over the span of your entire life!" Then I would have that outside force to act on me, and get me to do stuff. It is very simple. Yet, so incredibly complex for some reason. Hopefully now the women that read this can kind of understand men a little bit better. That way they understand that they have a very important role in the world, and maybe instead of getting angry when us guys don't do something. They will realize that role of importance and embrace it. Women are very essential in things getting done in this world, and they need to do their part and yell at their husbands and/or boyfriends to get up and do something. If you don't have a boyfriend I can think of at least one guy that needs a woman in his life (me). So get out there and do your part women!

Oh, before I end this I did have a thought today that I would like to share with the women reading this. If you find out that a guy is facebook stalking you please don't get creeped out. Guys are very precise when they are interested in something or someone. Watch a guy that is planning on buying some kind of electronic online. He looks at everything before he can make a decision. He will spend hours doing research on that product, and possible wait an entire month before he decides he is actually going to buy it. That is essentially what a guy is doing when he is facebook stalking you. He is trying to learn about you. Granted you have no idea that he is doing it, and this is a little creepy, but still be flattered that he is interested enough to be doing that research on you. Oh, and let's be honest here. It isn't like you make your photos public for no reason. "Oh, I just got back from the beach look at all these new pictures of me in a bikini." Don't even act like you didn't want a bunch of guys to be browsing through facebook, and come across those pictures of you. You want the attention just as bad as the nerdy guy with acne looking at your pictures genuinely wants to be your boyfriend. And that's all I have to say about that.

Later!

This is why I knew I didn't want to be an adult!

Remember that one time that I had a blog and I hadn't written in it for almost 2 months? Ok, seriously though. I am kinda upset with the fact that it has been so long. So let me update you on everything that is me. I got a job with that company that I did the drug screening for. Oh, sorry. For whom I did the drug screening (See my last post). So I was in training for 5 weeks, and things seemed great. Then I actually started the job, and I absolutely hated it. It was tech support. 'Nuff said. So the second I actually started doing real work there I started applications for other jobs. Needless to say that if you apply and send resumes to 50 different companies in the space of 2 weeks you will likely get some interviews. Well it only took 1 interview for a company to realize that I am amazing, and I had another job. Now I am an account manager at Boostability. It sounds great, but here is what I really do. I wake up at 6:45 am, which I never knew existed until last wednesday, but it is there. Ruining peoples lives and eating all their steak. Anyway, I have to be to work by 8. So I leave my place at about 7:35 am to get there on time. When I get there we have a short meeting, and then start calling clients. That is pretty much my entire job. I have a list of clients that I call every day, and once I have exhausted that list I am pretty much done with work. Once I am finished with everything I pretty much just sit around for a couple of hours doing nothing, and listening to my coworkers talk about Pokemon and Magic the Gathering. Or I sit and stare at the gorgeous receptionist, and imagine that she is my Pam Beesly and I am her Jim Halpert. I do this until 5pm when I clock out and go home. Then I get to start all over again. The reason I mention all of this is because I have realized something about myself. I hate having a job. My entire life philosophy is trying to live instead of being a robot that has a routine for 40 years, and essentially fast forwards their life to the point where they have devoted all their time to something for which they had no passion. I can't let my life come to this. I want to live every day, but even though I have only had my job for a week I am seeing myself start to adopt that routine work ethic. Where you long for the end of the day. Similar to the guy in prison longs for his life sentence to end. Only my prison is the cost of living. The weekend is really the only time you have for yourself, but even then it is gone by the time you realize that it was there. My point is that I want to live. As opposed to the people that just turn on autopilot at work, and try to find ways to make the time go by faster. It is just a waste of your already short life.
I love statistics. So here are some statistics about the amount of my time that is technically not really mine to live. There are 168 hours in a week. I am at work around 45 hours each week. I spend 6 hours and 15 minutes in preparation to be to work on time per week. I spend an additional hour and 40 minutes driving home from work per week. So I spend 52 hours and 55 minutes with work related time consumption. So in the average week I spend 31.527778% of my life with work. In addition if I got 8 hours of sleep each night that is an additional 33.33333% of the week spent asleep. Basically, 65% of my week is already spoken for. The other 35% is time that I have for myself. Honestly, I feel kinda ripped off. That means that I pretty much am only living 35% of my life. I don't feel like that is adequate. Is it just me that feels like they can't accept that as a reality? The sad part is that a lot of that 35% of time that is actually mine is spread around. So I can't even fully take advantage of it. I have about 5 hours when I get home before I need to go to bed to get a decent amount of sleep. In that 5 hours I have to eat something, possibly do laundry, go shopping for groceries, and whatever else is necessary. I am afraid that I only actually live a small percentage of my life, and that deeply concerns me, and I have an incredibly hard time accepting this information as a reality.
So the question now is how do I accomplish having a decent paying job that allows me to live my life? Honestly, I don't think it's possible. At least not from my observations. So basically the moral of this story is that we waste a lot of our lives, and really death is the only escape. Now that I have come to that conclusion I guess what I really want to say is goodbye cruel world. The time has come to end my mortal existence. No longer shall I be a slave to this world! Let it be written on my tombstone "He was a great guy...I guess...He whined a lot."

Ok, that is all.

Tune in next time when I will apparently be blogging from beyond the grave.

The Drug Screening - A Short Story Based on Actual Events By Jacob Cox

I had a rare opportunity yesterday. I was recently hired as an inbound tech support representative, and in order to be eligible for the job, after being hired, you have to comply with a drug screening within 24 hours. This drug screening happened to be a urine test. I can imagine all the people doing drugs just laughing at all the rest of us who have to go through the hell of being administered a urine test. Jerks! Anyway, let me tell you the story of my adventure.

It was about 2 pm when I left the office of Teleperformance knowing that I had only until 2pm the next day to go to work med and have the urine test administered to me. At the time I didn't have to pee. My plan was to drink as much water as I could that evening to ensure that I would not have any problem doing my business into a cup the next day. Unfortunately, that wasn't exactly how it was going to play out.

5:15 pm August 30th, 2012

My thoughts had been racing. I had finally gotten a decent paying job, and was, basically, promised a promotion after 3 months. So excited was I, that the urge to pee came. My first thought was, "Well this is really convenient. Had it been 30 minutes earlier I would have been able to get the drug screening out of the way tonight. Oh well, I will drink, and make sure that I am ready to go tomorrow morning."

Night fell upon Utah Valley, and the clouds were beautifully illuminated by the glowing moon. The air was heavy, and the rain had brought about a wonderful smell from the earth. The silver lining around the clouds reminded me of the mucosa lining inside my bladder. It was time to drink (water) and play Call of Duty. As I sit there yelling at people, and insisting that I knew their mothers intimately, the hours passed and my bladder continued to fill.

1 am August 31st, 2012

I finally got gold camouflage for my P90. It was then time for me to turn off the lights, check facebook and twitter, and go to bed. Sleep overcame me.

9 am August 31st, 2012

The morning had arrived as swiftly as a black guy running from a carnivorous wild beast in the heart of Africa. I ate an apple, drank my last large gulp of water, and got ready. I could feel my bladder sending signals to my brain indicating that we were all go for the drug screening to take place at 1000 hours.

10am August 31st, 2012

I arrived at WorkMed in Orem. I approached the front desk and gave the receptionist my paperwork, and she gave me a clipboard with a form that I needed to fill out. As I looked around the room I felt the smell of blue collar workers tickle my nose. I knew why they were there, and they knew why I was there. I filled out my paperwork promptly and took it back to the receptionist. It was now time to play the waiting game.

15 minutes passed. Name after name had been called, and I couldn't help but notice how attractive the nurse was. Finally, I heard it. "Jake, we're ready for you." This nurse was hot. I can't think of any celebrities that she looked particularly similar too. So just imagine a really hot 5'5" brunette in scrubs, and that will probably be pretty close. I had noticed in the waiting room that I had to pee a little, and figured that I would have no problem. The nurse asked for my two forms of ID, gave me a cup, and said, "Make sure you fill it to this line. The more the better." I opened the door, and walked in. It was time.

2 minutes passed. Nothing. I could feel myself tensing up, and getting nervous, and my thoughts began to race. "Why wouldn't anything come out? I had to go right before I came in. It must be that hot nurse standing right outside the door. How awkward is that? Why do most light fixtures look suspiciously like boobs? Everyone can hear me doing my business. What kind of sick torturous person would make people do this in these conditions? What is the name of the actor that plays Captain Hook in the movie Hook? Come on just go already!

I heard the nurse. "Jacob, have you been able to go at all?"

"No. Not really. I need to go, but I think I just have stage fright." I replied.

"Ok, I will give you one more minute. Then if you can't go come out and drink some water."

"Ok."

That was the fastest minute of my life. Unfortunately, there was no urine. I now had to face everyone with an empty cup, and go to the water cooler. 8 cups of water later and I feel like crap. My stomach is waterlogged, and I am no closer to urinating. So I sit and wait praying that nature will take it's course as quickly as possible.

10 minutes pass, then 20. Still nothing. Doctors and nurses walking by start looking at me. I feel so helpless. Another 15 minutes passed. I begin to talk to my body. "Why can't you just pee already? I know you are in there pee. Don't be shy. I am not gonna hurt you. I am just gonna put some of you in a cup and give it to the hot nurse lady." Still nothing. I didn't expect my body to reply. I don't have the best relationship with it after all. It is like my body is a rebellious teenager. I tell it things like 'don't get fat', 'don't get sick', or 'be more attractive, and stop making rumbling noises when there are girls in the room because they probably think it's a fart, but it's really not', but it always does the opposite. For once I wish my body would just do what I say, but alas this was not the case.

11:30 am August 31st, 2012

"I have been here for an hour and a half, and still nothing. Ok, I should have done this an hour ago. i am going to Google 'how to make yourself pee'. Ok, there are a lot of different things. Drink a lot of water, drink something with caffeine, drink alcohol. Crap, these are all things that I would have to do before coming here. Wait...distract yourself? I can do that. There are games on my phone. I will just play one of them."

I opened up temple run, and began to play. "Sacre Bleu! What's this? 30 seconds into playing and I have to pee?" I was sure it was just a fluke, but the urge began to increase. I stopped playing, and put my phone in my pocket to go tell them I was ready. Upon putting my phone in my pocket the urge had gone. "It must have been a fluke", I thought. So I began to play again. Once more. I had to pee. What black magic was this? I again put my phone in my pocket, and it was gone. I did this 5 more times, and got to the point where I was doing the urine equivalent of prairie dogging it.

11:45 am August 31st, 2012

I get up and go around the corner to the urination station (haha rhyme). I approached the male nurse, thank goodness, and told him that I was ready. After a few minutes, there I was. Just me, and this stupid little plastic see through cup with a black line on it, but now I was ready. I don't know if you have had to do this before, but let me give you a little information. This cup is nowhere near big enough for you to completely pee in. So, what you have to do is pee into the cup at basically half speed, which is incredibly difficult when your bladder is full, and then stop the stream and aim it into the toilet. I know this now. I didn't exactly do enough preparation before I started peeing. I was too preoccupied with the fact that I actually had to pee to think about anything else. So there I was. Cup half full, and still going strong. Lucky for me there was no lid on the toilet, but there was still a seat, and no where close to set the cup. I was stuck. Somehow I had to set down the cup, and lift that seat. I don't want to get too graphic with details so I will spare you the particulars. After some "maneuvering" I finally set the cup down, lifted the seat, and finished my business. It was finally over, and I could leave. After washing my hands of course.

This experience has left me wondering a lot of things. The biggest question in my mind is why a cup? And, if they need to have it a cup, why not a really really big cup? There HAS to be a better, and easier, way to do that. There just has to. How about peeing into an IV type of bag? Then you can fill the whole thing up, and they can take what they need and throw the rest away, or drink it...or whatever they do with the remains. My point is that they need to figure out a better way to do a urine test. I am sure there are many people, like myself, that have had just terrible experiences with it. The very least they could do is not hire a super hot nurse to work at a place like that. That is just a recipe for awkward. Something else I have been thinking is how weird must it have been for the first person that had to do a urine test. I will just let you ponder that.

Later.

So I Started An Online Dating Profile

Let me back up and give you some reasons that I did this. First of all there are always these commercials that claim that all these people have found their 'match' when they tried online dating. I am interested in finding my 'match' just as much as the next guy, but I am more of a believer in actually meeting people in real life, because, to be honest, if there was only a picture and some vague description of me, written by me of course, that is pretty sarcastic, because I wrote it, I doubt that there are very many scenarios where that would work to my advantage. The way I approach relationships, probably the worst way looking back on my track record, is by the age old admiring from afar. I flirt with girls, get to know them a little, hang out with them, become great friends with them, and if they never show interest then I just hold onto the hope that they will eventually find that they have liked me all along, but they never realized it. Well Jake, it is obvious that is a pretty stupid way to approach it, because it is likely that the girl doesn't even know you are interested, and you pretty much set yourself up to be in the friend zone. Well thank you. I realize that. Unfortunately, I lack the confidence to go any further, and the hope that she would one day like me overpowers, in my mind, the likelihood that she would be interested now. Anyway enough with my personal efforts to stay single my whole life. The biggest reason that I joined this online dating site was because I like to experience things and find out what they are like and how they work. I am somewhat of a social scientist without the title, degree, or knowledge. Basically, I am just a very curious person. I wanted to see what it was like, and, who knows, maybe find love (I doubt it) in the process. Here is what I have found:

Most of the girls that I have seen on there are, to put it nicely, sweet spirits. This is the biggest pit fall to online dating sites for me. I have said it before and I will say it again. I am pretty shallow. Nature made me that way. I would love to be attracted to women that aren't attractive to me. Do you know how easy that would be? Pretty easy I'd wager. Sure personality is a definite must, but I don't think that I could have a really strong love for someone that I am not physically attracted too. It is terrible I know. She doesn't have to be perfect, but she does have to be perfect for me.

The next most prominent group of women are single mothers who are now looking for a nice guy type after their terrible 1-2 year marriage to, most likely, and alcoholic pig douche jerk face prick. What I think is that they still hold on to the idea that they will find a guy who is, more or less, the same as the first guy except doesn't beat her and make her cry. The reason I believe this is because I have been interested in a few single moms in the past year (I even asked one out by writing her a song, an encrypted letter, and built her a website that the encrypted letter sent her too...This whole elaborate scheme and not one date.), and from what I can tell this is exactly how the majority of them are. The reality is that they will inevitably go in circles with guys that are practically the exact same as the first. Possibly even worse.

The 3rd biggest group of women are single and incredibly attractive. Girls like that pretty much have their choice of any guy they could want. My question is why are they on a dating website when they probably go on 2-3 dates every night with a wait list that is 5 miles long, and booked a year in advance. My guess is that they crave attention. I read one girls profile that said she gets around 200 messages a day. Yeah, I think she is getting all the attention she wants. My bet is that she barely responds to any. If she even does respond. She just feeds off of the attention, and allows her head to consistently get bigger, metaphorically speaking.

The smallest group of girls are the actual datable girls. These are the ones that are really cute(not hot...BIG difference), and likely aren't stuck up their butts. These kind of girls are genuine, and would likely reply and might even be interested, because they don't receive as much attention as they deserve making them more approachable and down to earth.

So that is more or less what you are dealing with if you are a guy and on a dating site. I think the likelihood of finding love is pretty equal to actual life. Maybe you have more of a reach, but to actually find someone that is right for you is, likely, just as much effort as finding girls in real life. Granted people do take more chances online. They are more outspoken, and have more confidence than in face to face situations. So, I guess, it really depends on what kind of person you are, and mostly what you are looking for. I have only been on the site for a few days. Maybe I should give it more time before I make any conclusive statements. If anything actually happens I will be sure to update everyone who is interested. If nothing happens, the more likely possibility, then I will likely delete my account, and completely deny that I ever had an online dating profile. Then I will continue my current approach with women and meet a lot of babes, but totally get friend zoned. There is the other possibility that I will become blind and not have to worry about physical attraction. You know what. Let's all hope for that one. I could see myself being blind. Not literally, that would be impossible, but I could imagine my life as a blind person. Never again would I have to see gorgeous women, and wish I were dead. Yeah it would get old after a while. I mean it must be pretty boring to see nothing all the time, but that is the price you pay to be happy I guess. Also, that drastically reduces the chances that someone will put a gun to my head and force me to watch Jersey Shore, Pretty Little Liars, or some other ridiculous tv show that someone would torture you with. I imagine that is what hell is like. You get there and you have 2 options. Being strapped to a bed and have acid dropping on your forehead for eternity, or having to watch a never ending marathon of one of those shows. Note to self: avoid going to hell.

Until next time,

Me

Brace Yourself, This Is Gonna Sting

I am getting pretty frustrated. Apparently it isn't ok to have an opinion unless your opinion is the same as everyone else's opinion. It isn't ok to be religious, because religion restricts people's ability to think and express themselves. It isn't ok to believe that marriage is suppose to be between a man and a woman, because if you believe that then you are a homophobe. If you are white, then you are automatically going to be racist about everything you say. If you say someone is fat, then you are insensitive and you should take it back because obviously it isn't true. Guess what? This is all bull crap.

Religion doesn't restrict people as much as you would think. It gives people, at least, a grain of moral fiber. Without religion there isn't really a moral compass. There is no definitive way of proving what is right or wrong. Even if religion is all bogus. It, at the very least, gives people boundaries. It tells people that they shouldn't kill people, do drugs, be abusive, and that they should generally be good to their fellow man. I am so sick of all this negativity against religion. What does that say about the person that is against it? That they don't think people should be good to each other, or that they should kill people at random? Obviously, it isn't good to blindly follow a religion and do everything it says just because "that's what you are suppose to do", but at least religion gives you some kind of a direction to live your life. Who knows, maybe it is ok to follow a religion, a good one, blindly. I know a lot of people that do and guess what? They are happy. Who are you to take away their happiness with angry words and actions. We aren't here to be mean to one another. I don't care if religion is bogus or not. I think our goal should be to help each other find happiness. If killing people makes you happy, then you should probably be locked up because you are a psychopath. Am I making myself clear? I have a lot more to say.

I don't think that gay people should be able to be married. There I said it. It isn't because I am christian, or that I have been brainwashed. I just don't think it is right. As far as I am concerned marriage has its roots in religion, and everyone wants religion to be out of the picture. So I don't understand exactly why they are pushing so hard for it. Until now the only reason marriage was even entered into is so that a man and a woman could formally state that they want to create a family. Well, as far as I know, gay couples don't have the correct reproductive organs to create life. So they have no need to enter a union such as marriage. Why can't they just live together? Male and female couples do that all the time now anyway. Why is it such a big deal for a gay couple to have the title of marriage? Is it just so that they can feel equal? Is it because they want to prove a point? Is it because they want to feel like they had an impact on something? Whatever it is I don't understand why it is such a big deal. If you are gay good for you, but I don't see why you feel you have to create such a big war over something that was never meant for you. I honestly don't think that a lot of heterosexual couples should be married. It seems that marriage has just turned into a more formal version of dating. People get bored of it, and then they decide to get divorced. They don't work at it, or try to fix things. They are just lazy about it, and give up. I don't think that people like that should be married in the first place. If anything marriage should have even more strict laws for heterosexual couples who want to get married. They should do away with the quicky vegas chapels, and interview marriage candidates to make sure that they are going to take it seriously. I know I am being blunt about this, and that a lot of people probably don't agree, but this is the real world. You can't have everything that you want. That is just how it is. Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with ice cream doesn't mean I am gonna try to start a revolution to allow my right to marry dessert foods. Marriage is sacred to people. That is why it is being defended so strongly by individuals and religions. It isn't because they hate gays. It is because they feel so strongly about it being the way that it is. Remember they are trying to defend what they believe in. It isn't like marriage was just created 50 years ago to prevent people from being gay. It is the gay community that attacked those that believe that marriage as being between a man and a woman. I think it is almost humorous that they feel discriminated against, when in reality it is completely the other way around. Religions and individuals alike that believe in the traditional sense of marriage are being attacked and discriminated against because of their beliefs. The owner of a large food chain announced publicly that he believed in marriage between a man and a woman, and now there are cities all across america that won't let that chain of restaurants in their city. Just because of what he believes. Tell me now, who is discriminating and attacking whom?

I am so sick of people feeling discriminated against. I feel that all the wrong people are trying to fight for their rights, and all the decent people are sitting back watching all of their rights getting taken away. I, for one, will not stand for this. The world is becoming unstable, because the amount of people with moral values are getting outnumbered by people that are selfish and want only what is good for themselves. How about instead of fighting each other in a war that we will all lose, we fight for a country that protects its citizens by creating jobs, getting out of debt, and funding projects to take our dependance off of oil. We need to stop babying people that feel discriminated against, and start fighting for a better future instead of one that has laws protecting criminals and people who just want rights for their own gain. We are losing our collective freedoms for the freedoms of a few. There is a war against good and evil going on, and I am not so certain that good is going to prevail. I am not saying that you aren't good if you are gay, or if you don't believe in religion. You aren't good if you continually put others down, if you are selfish, and if you are consistently contentious with people that don't share the same views as you do. I believe that people can live happily the way they want to if they can make some compromises. Life isn't perfect for everyone, and that is just how it is. Just learn to let some things go. The more people push to have things changed to their own way, the more others rights will be taken away. Not everyone can have their own way, but there can be a balance where people won't feel that they have no rights at all. That is what we need to fight for. Not all of this legalize gay marriage, do away with religion, and protect "my personal rights" crap.

Obviously, people aren't going to agree with what I said, and I will likely have a bunch of comments of people nay saying. Go for it. I won't change my stand on what I have said. Unlike a lot of people I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but just because you have an opinion you don't have to make everyone else miserable by shoving it in their face all the time. People will say, but hey religious people are trying to shove their beliefs in our face all the time. Yeah, guess who else shoves their beliefs in everyone's face all the time? Look at yourself before you make an accusation, and ask yourself if maybe you are also to blame. The only way anything is going to change for the good is if everyone starts asking themselves if they are the person causing the problem.

$%@#!

I just had a delicious Durangos salad. Time to blog. Something I was just thinking about is swearing. Although I don't encourage people to swear I do find it quite hilarious when people do. Little background on me. I find most things hilarious. This is why I don't think I would be cut out for a serious executive job. I was in a business meeting yesterday for the company I work for, and the guy in charge of the meeting said "duty". I almost started laughing, because in my mind duty converts to doodie (poo). It took quite a bit of effort to not laugh. What I am saying is that just because I am 24 it doesn't mean that I am going to act like an adult. I possess the ability to act like an adult from time to time, but if someone says "do do" or "duty" or anything even close to a "that's what she said" I can barely control myself. So having said that, back to what I was originally saying. I know that swearing is childish and inappropriate, but I just find it funny. You can't have the same bout of laughter from someone saying "shoot" after doing something stupid as you can when someone yells the swear word equivalent. This is my opinion at least. I mean yeah, there are some people that don't ever condone swearing, and those people are good people and in some cases have a sense of humor. I don't think it is nice to call them prudes, or make fun of them. It is not my place or anyone else's place to judge anyone on how they live their lives. Unless they are a felon in which case the judge will judge them, but that is beside the point. I think swearing is funny in a lot of cases.

There are a lot of circumstances where swearing is annoying, and very inappropro (hip and cool way of saying inappropriate). This is when 13 year olds are swearing because they think they are cool and rebelling. This is neither funny or even close to the right context for swearing. Swearing, when done correctly, will flow effortlessly and either convey an emotional extreme, be hilarious, or even a little of both. For me, when I say stuff like shoot, darn, freak, crap...I am usually thinking it's inappropro equivalent. So really, I don't see the difference between them. Like I said before, you aren't a square or a prude if you don't approve of swearing. You are even likely a better person than I, but I am a really easy going person and don't really get offended very often. I just like to laugh. I believe this is a better way of reacting to situations. If you get offended by things usually it is just awkward for everyone, and I hate feeling uncomfortable. Obviously, there are some things that offend me, but generally speaking it is very difficult to offend me. I believe this makes life easier for me, and allows people to enjoy my company. There are just way to many people who take things seriously, and unfortunately that is their entire life. I don't understand how a person can be so serious about stuff all the time. We are here to be happy, and be good people. Not to get offended by other people. It is your problem if you are offended, not anyone else's. Your choice is to take offense, and I would say that most of the time it isn't worth it.

I felt like I was gonna wrap this up, but I just thought of a story to prove my point about this. My sophomore year in high school was shaping up great. The seniors were large and definitely in charge, such as it is in high schools. The beginning of the year assembly was practiced, and deemed appropro by whomever was in charge of deeming things at the school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good started makin' trouble in ma neighborhood. I got in one little fight...Just kidding. The whole point of the assembly was to make everyone laugh. Unfortunately, there were some students in my class that take things too seriously. In the assembly the seniors were making fun of sophomores, and at one point they had spray bottles of, what they called, sophomore repellant. If a sophomore came too close they would spray the repellant, and the sophomore would be repelled. There was another sketch where some sophomores were walking to Wendy's, since they didn't have cars, and they had a senior on a scooter drive by and circle them while laughing hysterically and pointing at them. I was in tears, because I was laughing so hard. Most of the sophomores were, but there were a couple of them who were in tears because they chose to be offended by the skits. After a few phone calls from some parents who, apparently, had no sense of humor either. We were forced to stop the tradition of making fun of sophomores. A tradition that had been passed down for years. It was all done in fun, and it was clear that there were no hurtful intentions. I mean there were sophomores on stage acting this out for crying out loud. The students in the sophomore sections were laughing just as hard at it as any other section of students.

The moral of this story is to choose to laugh when given the option. Hint: there is always that option. When people get offended they complain. When they complain they guilt the person they are complaining to into changing the rules that regulate what they were complaining about. When those rules change everyone else has to start living by rules that were made because 1 or 2 people were offended by something they shouldn't have been offended by. This is what is happening everywhere. Everyone feels that because they are offended by something they can go complain, and have it their way. Well because of that the constitution has turned into a Burger King menu.

A Letter to Facebook Users

Dear friends who insists on posting hundreds of pictures that are anything but interesting,

Please understand that I don't care that you feel that you are expressing yourself through a photo that someone stole from google images and then photoshopped words on to it. I am getting to the point where I don't even care if it is funny. Sure I like a laugh, but I am beginning to do anything but laugh. The amount of pointless pictures are greatly outweighing the amount of SuMmEr TwEnTy TwElVe albums that are being posted by the attractive women that I am trying to photo stalk. I am not the only person that feels this way. Trust me. So here is the thing. I am going to try and help you regain the trust of the people who are probably going to delete you if you don't stop it with all the photos.

Tip #1: If you come across a picture and it is funny. Ask yourself 2 questions. Did this make me actually laugh out loud, and have I shared over 5 pictures today. If you answered yes to the first question then, and no to the second question feel free to share the photo.

Tip #2: If you are a person that actually has albums of funny memes that you have been adding to, then instead of sharing a photo every second. Save the photos you like onto your computer, and after a day upload all those photos into an album. That way it is one post, and it isn't cluttering up my newsfeed. I really enjoy those kind of albums.

Tip #3: If you are posting pictures that aren't funny, and are "inspirational". STOP IT NOW! No one cares! I hate to be insensitive, but I am being completely honest. If you feel that you must post them, at least do as I have previously stated in the last tip so that I don't have to see them scattered throughout MY news feed.

Tip #4 This isn't exactly a tip, but listen and listen carefully. If you don't at least accomplish these few tips I, along with many others, will get sick of you and delete you as a friend. What are you gonna do with all of your photos when you have no one to share them with except the weird guy who added you a few years ago, and for some reason you accepted it. He isn't gonna delete you. He is too weird, and is probably stalking you.

So there you have it. If you want to be alone social networkingly speaking, then by all means keep posting all of your dumb photos, but I promise if it doesn't stop soon I will treat you as if you were a piece of crap and flush you down the proverbial social networking toilet. I am not sure that I used that correctly, but I still meant what I said even if I didn't say it right!

This message has been brought to you by The Foundation for a Better Facebook.

The Amazing Spiderman 2012 Review

I had a very interesting 4th of July experience last night. It was about 8:15 PM at the Nygaard residence when I realized that I really didn't give a crap about watching fireworks. So after much deliberation I convinced a couple of people that we should go to the movie theater and watch the new Spiderman movie. My arguments were that first, everyone in town would be watching fireworks so there would be no one in the theater. The second was that I hadn't seen it yet. It was a wonderful plan. Almost bullet proof.

We got to the theater about 15 minutes before the movie started, and just like I had predicted the movie theater was practically barren. We entered our theater, and it was just us! In 1o minutes we would have our own theater to watch this movie, or so we thought. What I didn't consider when I devised this plan is that there are a group of people that live in America, but they don't really celebrate our independence. A family of this specific minority group entered the theater, and my dream had then been crushed. There were 3 children in this specific family. It was at this time that I began to fear for the worst. My second thought was trying to figure out why a group of people who's kids could only speak english would spend money to see something they couldn't understand. I thought that was a valid thought. But, their kids must have been quite persistent about it.

The movie then began, and lucky these children were well behaved, so I didn't have to kill them. It wouldn't have been a racist thing had I killed them. It would have been a "I am sick of people ruining movies because of their obnoxious children" thing. Seriously, there is a time for kids to see movies. That time is in the afternoon. If you are taking your child to a night time movie, bring a roll of duct tape and some Ritalin. If you don't have those things on your person at the entrance of the movie theater, and you have kids, you shouldn't be let in. Yes, this is my opinion, but it just so happens that a lot of people agree with this opinion. It is your fault you had children. Now you have to suffer the consequences of your actions. These consequences include not going to movies and wishing you were dead.

Ok, so the movie. Hopefully you are still with me, because this is the important part, and also my opinion. I loved the movie. I am usually really hard on movies, but I really don't have anything bad to say about it. I was thoroughly entertained the whole time, and unlike the other spiderman movies. This movie was more consistent with the comics and cartoons.

A lot of people are wondering why they made this new Spiderman movie. Well, it is because the other ones were pretty cheesy. Let's be honest, they were. The other big reason is that they weren't consistent with the original spiderman. In the cartoons and comics spiderman had cartridges, not web that magically shot out of his wrist. His abilities were spidey sense, super strength, and his ability to scale walls. Also, Mary Jane was not his first love interest. It was Gwen Stacey.

One of the main reasons that I really enjoyed this movie was the character development. They spent just under an hour introducing Peter Parker, and the rest of the characters. It gave the background of his parents, and why he ended up living with his uncle Ben and aunt May. And you really just got to know Peter Parker. You find out that he is into photography, and that he is very smart. They set up the story really well in that aspect.

I really enjoyed the more adult feel of the movie. Although it is a fictitious movie, the characters are very real. It gives real depth to the movie, and really grabs you from the beginning. I felt that it wasn't a perfect representation of high school, but in some aspects it was better than most. There were a few things that I could really relate to there. The villain was also well done. I felt that there was a good reason for him becoming a villain, and that it worked very well with the story.

Also, let's be real here. The biggest issue to address in a movie is the female lead. "Is she hot?" Well the only way that you can do better than Emma Stone is by getting Emma Watson, and I don't know that the character of Gwen Stacey is one that I could see Emma Watson doing. So for hot and capable female lead this movie gets a 10/10 hands down.

Overall this movie exceeded my expectations. I was very pleased with it, and I personally feel that everyone needs to see it. Had the avengers not come out, this movie would be the best film of the summer thus far in my opinion. So yeah. Go watch it. If you are disappointed then you don't deserve the right to see movies, and I will publicly mock you. Seriously it's a great movie. In fact, I want to see it again. That is how much I enjoyed this movie. Oh, I forgot to mention. The 3D was great. So if you have the money to spend I definitely suggest the 3D version. Definitely worth the money. Are you still reading this? Go get a ticket already. What have you got to lose? 10 bucks? 20 bucks? 1000 bucks? It doesn't matter, because you can't put a price tag...I lost my train of thought, but you get what I am saying.

Peace Out!

Texting and Driving: Safer Than Taking A Nap Underwater

I was watching tv yesterday, and a commercial came on that started out with this girl talking about her sister and how she loved to laugh and was such a good person blah blah blah. Then she says "This is the text she was reading when she flipped her car." So at this point I am like "ok, this is an anti texting and driving commercial." Then it shows the word "Yeah". I almost lost it. The amount of time it takes to read the word yeah is like a fraction of a second. It takes less time to read that text than it takes to look at your mirrors or look at your mph gauge. Maybe she was just a really slow reader. I personally don't think it is good for a slow reader to be driving in the first place. How long would it take her to read street signs? She would have to come to a dead stop in the road every time she had to read one of them. That isn't safe. My point is the reason people are cracking down on texting and driving stems from the fact that people are too dumb to do it safely. I have been texting and driving since that combination was possible for me to do, and haven't even come close to an accident. This is because I do it safely. So I feel that since people are, apparently, so stupid maybe I should give some tips on texting and driving in a safe manner.

TIP #1

If you are driving in heavy traffic and your text ringer goes off you probably don't need to read the text that second. Wait until you get to a red light, or until the traffic gets so backed up that you have to come to a complete stop. This will ensure that you aren't staring down at your phone while there are a thousand cars on the road that have the potential to crash into you as you drift across lanes because you aren't looking at the road.

TIP #2

If you are driving in traffic that isn't exactly heavy and the cars are spread further out here is a time that you can probably pull of texting somewhat safely. But, only if you do it as I describe. Otherwise you might as well jerk your steering wheel and ram into the car next to you and get it over with right now. What you will first do is make sure that your phone is in a location where it can be grabbed easily. A pocket, on the floor, or somewhere in or around the backseat are not examples of grabbed easily. Make sure at least one of your hands is on the steering wheel. Now you are ready to read the text. Take a really good look at all of your surroundings. Where cars are, how much space you have in front of you, if there is a traffic light or stop sign coming up, if there are potential cars that could cut you off, you get the idea. Lift your phone to eye level so that you can see the road in your periphery as you read one or 2 words at a time. After you read the first word or couple of words make sure to look at the road again, and repeat that process until you have read the text. Remember that each time you look at the road again you need to assess everything that is going on so as to lower the possibility of doing something stupid. Also, pray for a red light, because reading a text like that is lengthy and kind of annoying. A red light gives you the opportunity to read the whole text without worrying about doing something stupid.

The next step is actually texting back. Prepare to look at your phone the same way as I have told you to prepare to read. Make sure you know what you are going to say. The less you have to think about what you are saying while you are texting the less distracted you will be. Try to keep the text as short as possible. Type, at the most, 2 letters at a time, make sure you are completely surveying the road each time you look.

TIP #3

If you have a smart phone there are a few ways that you can eliminate a lot of the risk. If you own an android there should be a speech to text button in your message screen. If you own an iPhone 4 or older there is an app called dragon dictation that is a speech to text converter. If you own an iPhone 4s I am jealous, and you have siri who can text for you. This will greatly reduce the amount of time that you spend per text, and eliminate the need to actually type the message out.

TIP #4

If you have a passenger you can almost completely reduce the risks of texting and driving. I greatly suggest that you hand your phone to your passenger and ask them to read your texts and text back for you. Unless you are on a road trip and they have been eating Cheetos. Because I have been there before. You don't want them touching your phone at all. Unless you enjoy having powdered cheese caked onto your phone. Which I do not prefer at all. I had to clean my phone for like 10 minutes to get all that crap off. Lucky for me it was my iphone and there is only 1 button, and I have a screen cover. I can't even imagine if there were a ton of buttons, and all that crap got under them and made the buttons stick. It is just a mess. On a side note. If you are gonna touch someone's phone. Be considerate, and make sure your hands are clean. I bet you are asking how you can accomplish this while on a road trip and you are eating Cheetos. Well I will tell you. You open the bag, and pour them into your mouth. Yay, no mess!

TIP #5

If you are having a full blown conversation in your texts. Just call the person. Texting is a way to relay a short message to someone without having to call them, and it allows the person receiving the message to read it at their leisure. It was never meant to replace communication the way that it has. Just call the person, or better yet go spend time with them. The only time that it is appropriate to have a full blown conversation over a text is when you are in a social setting, and you have to tell someone sitting across from you something that is inappropriate to tell to the entire group. For example, a girl is talking about her dads boat. "Yeah, it is sooo big." Your text message to your friend across from you: "That's what she said." Then they reply back with something that they don't want to say out loud to everyone. It works in many situations. Another example, I went to a friends house to watch a movie. There were 4 people there. Me, the girl I liked at the time, a guy, and his girlfriend. Well, the guy and his girlfriend started making out like crazy. So the girl I was into and I started texting each other because we didn't want to interrupt the loud kissing noises coming from the other couch. Another example, you are at dinner with your family, and your sister texts you and says that she is freaking out. So you ask why, and she replies that she is pregnant and doesn't want to tell your parents. Granted she could have said this to you at a different time, and that would have been better probably, but it's just an example. Anyway, my point is that if you are texting and having a whole conversation with someone while you are driving just call them. Even better, get a blue tooth so that you don't have to hold the phone to your ear.

Tip #6

If you are the kind of person who has trouble driving in the first place. Texting and driving is not for you. To be able to text and drive safely you actually have to be able to drive. So Asian women, I am sorry, but you will never be able to text and drive. And the reverse of that applies. If you are an okay driver, but it takes you forever to text something you probably shouldn't be texting and driving either. If you are terrible at both you are probably old.

This completes my tips of how to safely text and drive. If you have any questions, and you are an attractive female please message me on facebook. I will likely reply within 10 seconds because I am getting desperate. Just kidding, but seriously I am.

I Don't Think My Brain Works Properly

I have a very interesting thing on my mind tonight. Earlier I was eating tacos, because it's taco tuesday at Del Taco, and I had a strange urge to rip the bag my food came. After I finished ripping the bag in two places I looked up at my friend Jason and told him "I have no idea why I did that." So we began to talk about strange urges. I am sure that everyone gets them from time to time. Like when you are driving down the freeway, and for no reason at all you want to jerk the steering wheel. Or, you are in a very high hotel room with the window open, and you for no reason at all have the urge to sprint at the window and jump out. These urges aren't always suicidal by the way. I recall a time in my youth where I was sitting behind an old gentleman in a religious meeting. While sitting behind this older, mostly bald, man I began to stare at his wrinkled neck skin going up to the back of his skull. It was at this time that I felt the need to poke him in his wrinkled neck skin repeatedly for absolutely no reason. This meeting was an hour long by the way. It was likely the longest hour of my life.

I wish I could explain these strange urges. I have to think of children when I get them, because I am certain children have these urges but can't control them. For instance, a child is playing with a bunch of other children, and completely out of nowhere the child picks up a toy and chucks it at either one of the other children or an adult. Or a parent tells their child not to touch something fragile they had just purchased. The child, of course, grabs it and plays a short game of keep away with the parent and then chucks it onto the hardest part of the floor in their house. This has to be the same kind of occurrence right? That is what I think at least. The child just doesn't have the ability to filter out the stupid urges yet. Heck, I barely have the will power to resist them. So you can't really be too mad at a child for breaking stuff and hitting other children, because we have all been there. I know I have wanted to hit other people's children with a solid object before. So I can't really blame them for doing it. Thank goodness for my mind. I love how I have the ability to imagine myself doing things that I could never do in real life. On some level it allows me to live with the fact that I can't do some things. Like if there is a guy that is a total douche. I can imagine the perfect revenge, and imagining that allows me to live without actually doing something that I could regret. If anything our imaginations are an undo, or ctrl z (cmd z for mac), of sorts. We can think through a situation, and determine after going through it whether or not it is something we want to do before we actually act. I believe this ability is broken for people who constantly do stupid things. They can't think through a situation beforehand, and come to the conclusion, "You know, I don't think jumping down this 15 foot staircase is a good idea." I am amazed at the amount of people who's brains are broken. I am not upset about it. If it weren't for people like that there would be almost no need for YouTube. Everyone has their place in the world, and, for some people, it is lying face down on the concrete with a lot of broken bones.

Something else I have been thinking about lately is conversing. Until about 3 weeks ago I had never thought about where I was suppose to look when I am talking with people. It just happened naturally. Well, my mind screwed that up, and I don't know where the heck I am suppose to look any more. Now every time I talk to someone I end up trying to blur my vision in an attempt to look at both of their eyes. I must look like an idiot. I can't find anywhere to look that seems right. I will look at one of their eyes, in between their eyes, or, like I said before, try to blur my vision trying to look at both of their eyes. Nothing seems right, and that is taking all of my focus during the conversation. I don't know what the heck to do. It all started when I was at work. I was talking to a guy wearing sunglasses, and I couldn't see his eyes. So I was trying to guess where they were while I was talking to him. I ended up just landing on a spot that, I assume, was close to where his eyes actually were. I don't think I was right though, because soon after he took his sunglasses off. I am sure that it was because I was looking like an inch away from where his eyes actually were. So anyway, it was after that experience that I started thinking about where I am actually suppose to look during a conversation, and the autopilot in my brain that had been controlling my eyes during conversation was destroyed. Now I am left looking like an idiot every time I talk to someone.

Speaking of your brain not working properly. Don't you hate it when you are going to have an important conversation with someone, or you are suppose to give a somewhat improvised speech to a group of people, and you plan out pretty much everything you are gonna say then the second you start to speak everything you planned to say just gets erased from your mind? Isn't that the most ironic thing? The stuff you are trying so hard to remember just gets erased the moment you need it. It's like that with everything it seems. When you are trying to impress a love interest you do everything wrong because you are trying so hard. Or when you do something seemingly impossible on accident, then you try to do it again and fail miserably. It's so frustrating that our mind and bodies can instinctually do something that we would normally have to try a thousand times to do again. I kind of wonder if our minds come with everything preinstalled, but when we try to override things, we being our conscious mind, our subconscious mind returns an error that ultimately screws everything up. This essentially explains beginners luck. The beginner isn't trying, because they don't even know what to do. So their instincts, or their subconscious mind, completely takes over and does everything. Then once they understand what is going on their conscious mind starts to take over and screws everything up. Aren't our minds ridiculous? I am beginning to think maybe I should just stop trying to do things, and start doing them without any preparation. I wonder how successful a person could be doing something like that. My guess is that they would be pretty successful, but I guess for everything else there is YouTube.

Proof that there is a God.

I have always believed that there is a God. I would consider myself a religious person. I would even consider myself a Mormon. That is not what I am here to talk about today. My proof that there is a God stems from the conundrum of relationships.

I was thinking the other day, and I found myself thinking about how attraction is really the cause of relationship woes. If it weren't for attraction we wouldn't have trouble with relationships, because our relationships would be based off of things that make sense. Most guys would probably get with fat girls because they like steak and sweets. I gotta be honest. When I meet a girl that's a vegetarian I want to cry. What kind of a life is that? Unfortunately, if she is attractive I can somehow live with the fact that I hate her. How does that make any sense? Everyone does it. Attraction is the override for our brains. We have this specific list of qualities that our perfect mate needs to have, but if an attractive man/woman, that has none of those qualities, comes along our brain temporarily deletes that list and we live miserably for however long the relationship lasts. Some times people get lucky and the attractive person turns out to have some of the important qualities, but definitely not enough to merit being in that relationship. It's sad how many people get into these relationships, and they just stay in it because the force of attraction is so strong. I am probably exhibit A when it comes to this. I am, unfortunately, a very shallow person. It makes me angry, because there are girls that have all the qualities that I would look for, but because of the things that I am attracted to I could never be with them. I apologize for the honesty, but that's just how it is. I bring this up because it is quite a dilemma. Without attraction I think that a lot more people could be in better and more fulfilling relationships. Relationships that wouldn't be so focused on outward appearance, and our brains wouldn't essentially have a virus that completely screws us all over.

The only problem is that without attraction things would be way too easy. We would find someone suited to us almost perfectly in all the right ways. It would take away the excitement and the risk. The feeling of being alive that you get when you are head over heels for someone. You can like someone's personality sure, but I believe that it is attraction that tips the emotional scale and ultimately creates the full feeling of love. There are definitely bad things that can come from relationships based solely on attraction, but you can't really appreciate or learn how to find good without having been completely miserable first. I believe that without attraction, relationships would be only average. There would be no amazing story about the nerd marrying the cheerleader, or the girl finding her perfect prince charming. Why do you think romantic movies do so well, and why so many women read those horrid novels with the super gay front covers of guys that have no shirt on. It is because attraction is such a strong deep rooted part of us. This is one of the large reasons that I believe there is a God. People are so complex that it is downright offensive to think that we aren't part of something more than just this life. I am not saying that I am right. I obviously believe that I am right, but even if I am wrong. I would rather live my life believing what I believe instead of thinking there is nothing after this. How depressing is that? I believe that everything is too complex for it to be coincidence. People, relationships, compassion, sadness, happiness, love. Those things are all way too complex to be an accident caused by some big explosion billions of years ago. That is my proof.

I quoted the Declaration of Independence and Bambi...You know this post is gonna be good!

I would like to share my feelings today. There is something that is starting to become a serious trend, and I, personally, feel that it is time to stop this foolishness. There are 2 basic types of people. The people that get persecuted, and the people that do the persecuting. At least those are the 2 types of people I will talk about today. People tend to go back and forth on this one. I would like to begin by repeating something I heard on Bambi when I was a young lad, and it is a very true statement. "If you don't have something nice to say. Don't say it at all." Did you hear that? No you didn't because you are reading, but did you read that? Yes you did because now you are reading this. Ok, so my point now. Although sometimes that is not the case. It is almost always the case. I am not perfect. So yes I say things that aren't nice. Sometimes things that aren't nice are true. When it comes to those kind of things we need to be tactful in how we approach saying it, or if it isn't going to help we probably shouldn't even say anything. Then sometimes, things that we say are just hurtful and have no reason to be said other than people just want to make themselves feel better about what they are doing. For example, if a fat girl, or guy maybe but most likely girl, tells a skinny girl that she is too skinny and that she needs to eat a cheeseburger. That is just a way for the fat girl to put the skinny girl down, and in turn make herself feel better about eating everything that she sees. This is why America is beginning to become a place that no one wants to be. We have stopped protecting the people that haven't done anything, and more and more we are becoming people that attack each other about every single thing. If we aren't gay, then we tell everyone they can't be gay and that its immoral, and that they are going to hell, and that they are just gross. If we are gay, then we tell all the gay haters that they don't know what love is, and that their religion is is the only reason they feel that way, and that their God is a horrible one because he would allow such a thing to happen, and blah blah blah. If we are fat we attack people by telling them they are too skinny. If we are skinny we tell people they are too fat. If we are somewhere between fat and skinny we commit suicide because we have no one to argue with. (jk about that last one hehe) If we are religious we tell everyone that isn't religious that they have to be religious. If we aren't religious we do all sorts of "research" to prove that religion is made up. Do you see the pattern here? Everyone is attacking everyone. I am not worried about getting nuked by North Korea, because at least if that happens it will end the ongoing and ever growing war that is here. Am I the only person that feels that contention is the most awkward and horrible thing in the world? When people start to argue I go into find something funny to say to stop the arguing mode. I can't take it. I think I should be in a beauty pageant, because I honestly want world peace. If you have seen the avengers then you know that Loki's plan from the beginning is to turn the avengers against each other. I don't know that Satan has a plan similar to that. I can't say for certain whether Satan is real, but what I do know is that if I was him that would probably be my plan. Maybe something to think about? I mean if there is no Satan, then either way people are still awful to each other, and that will undoubtedly be the downfall of mankind. Who knows maybe once we are wiped out by our stupidity pigs will take over. They are the smart ones right? I don't know.

So the reason I started blogging about this is because, yet again, people are attacking each other on facebook. It's about religion, being skinny, you know the usual. I have friends, who I love to death, but they always post stuff about religion. Specifically the mormon religion. The most recent one had quite a few comments, and people that were really offended by it. There was some article about something that use to happen in the mormon temple...I don't really know. I didn't care to read it because I am not really a reader, but they said they meant no harm by it and that it was meant to be informative. I am sorry, love them to death, but I find it hard to believe that they would post something anti mormon on facebook when I bet a large amount of their friends are mormon, and then not mean ANY harm by it. You know what my way of avoiding causing any harm is? I don't post crap that will undoubtedly make people angry. It is like running into Harlem and saying "MLK Jr. was actually white!" I mean I can't really post that on facebook, because I don't think they have the internet in the ghetto's yet. But yeah, it's kinda similar. It's the same thing I was talking about earlier though. Non-religious people digging up dirt about religious stuff. I am religious, but I don't read articles disproving atheism. Granted, I don't like to read so that probably has a lot to do with it, but still. I believe in people being good to each other. I think that if we all chose to believe that, maybe we wouldn't have all the trouble we have. Everyone is so bent on proving that they are the one in the right. It doesn't matter if they are or not. Are we so insecure that we have to put others down in order to feel more secure about ourselves? I think the answer for most people is yes. Otherwise why would we put others down the way that we do? I don't care if you are black, mexican, gay mexican, white, fat, skinny, religious, not religious, whatever. Why, instead of finding ways to make you feel more secure about your lifestyle, don't you find ways to better humanity with your efforts. Tell a joke, teach a child how to tie their shoes, in the words of the scouting motto "do a good turn daily". Life isn't about being angry. It is most definitely about being happy. I don't care what background you are from. The Declaration of Independence and Will Smith were dead on when they said that we are entitled to "the pursuit of happiness", and that is exactly what we should pursue. You can't tell me that you are happy putting others down. How can that make you happy that you are putting another person down? Who knows, maybe I am too compassionate, but maybe I am just the right amount and everyone else is bat crap crazy. I don't know, but what I know for certain is that people's undying passion to find fault in others will be our downfall.

Kirk Out

Wrath of the Titans Review

There is really no way to be nice about this review. I was thinking maybe I would be tactful with my opinions, but there is no way that is possible. I would like to begin by apologizing to the people who have already seen this movie, or that have seen the first movie. There are not really words to describe how horribly done they are. Let me start out by saying that there are only two ways that a person would enjoy this movie. 1) If you are a female, and you think Sam Worthington is attractive. And 2) if your IQ isn't big enough to be a whole number. The only reason that the first one is an exception is because I have seen my fair share of horrible movies, but if there is an attractive female in it I usually will stick it out to the end. Typically, in that situation I only remember that there was a hot chick in the movie, and therefore have fond memories of it.

So I have trashed on the movie. Now let me tell you why it was so awful. In the first scene of the movie the first thing that I noticed was that the background was incredibly out of focus. Though our eyes see that way, there is no reason for a movie to be that way. It wasn't even normal out of focus. It was just barely off. Like they did the background for people wearing 3D glasses, and they forgot to do it normal for people that were seeing it in 2D. If you have ever taken your glasses off during a 3D movie you know what I am talking about, and that is exactly what the background looked like.

The next thing thing that I remember really being annoyed about was the way that Pegasus flies. It flew like it was drunk, and had no equilibrium at all. Isn't Pegasus suppose to be graceful, and, not to be racist, white? Because Pegasus in this movie was black, and on top of it was very obviously CGI (for the most part). There were scenes where it was a horse, and they just added CGI wings, but I mean come on. At least take pride in what you do, and make it realistic. I know they weren't short on animators, because a large portion of the movie was CGI. Which, to be honest, was the only area this movie didn't completely fail in...except for pegasus.

Another that I found more amusing than anything else was that almost every single actor had a different accent. Perseus's son had a very strong british accent. Andromeda had a regular American accent. Perseus, well he has his interesting accent. Zeus (Liam Neeson) has the same accent he has in every movie he does. I don't think he can really change that. The general of the army has a strong spanish accent. It was just very distracting. It was like every time there was anew character they had a new accent.

So now I will talk about the plot a little bit. The movie starts out with Perseus who has a son, and they are living on the shore of some small village. Zeus visits him with some news that, because people aren't praying to the Gods, they are all losing their power, and all sorts of horrible creatures are going to be released. Zeus continues to tell Perseus that he needs to help the Gods. Perseus basically tells Zeus to screw off, and that he promised his dead wife that he would protect his son, and not go to war and whatever. So Zeus is like "Whatever. I am gonna go confront Hades now." So Zeus goes down into the earth, and meets Poseidon and Ares there. And they go down in a little further, and there is Hades who has some tricks up his sleeve, and a double crosser (Ares) who help him capture Zeus, and almost kill Poseidon. Poseidon gets out, and appears in front of Perseus and his son in the temple of the Gods, and then tells Perseus that he needs to free Zeus. So blah blah blah they go on this short little adventure where they meet 3 giant cyclops, and Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean before he fell in love with the sea, and got all squid-like. Apparently, before his times as the dead care taker and jamaican water woman lover, he was the blacksmith for the Greek Gods. Then, I assume, after Hades death at the end of this movie, the formerly known Hephaestus was reincarnated as Davy Jones, and cursed for a long period of time, until the again release of sweet death by the hand of Will Turner (but actually Jack Sparrow). So Davy Jones apparently made the labyrinth that leads into the place that Kronos (the big bad guy that Hades and Ares are trying to bring back to life or whatever) and Hades are currently holding Zeus. So Davy Jones takes them to the entrance of this labyrinth, but some stupid chick prayed to Ares for some dumb reason, and they were attacked by him, and everyone barely made it into the labyrinth, but only because Davy Jones distracted Ares. The dumb thing was that Ares could totally see that the door to the labyrinth was closing, because Davy Jones and himself were fighting only 10 yards away from the entrance that Perseus barely squeezed into. If I were Ares I probably would have chased after Perseus, and killed him instead of wasting my time fighting some worthless blacksmith guy. Whatever...So they get into the labyrinth, and I am probably leaving out details. But seriously, they really aren't important. So don't even worry about it. So they are finding their way through this labyrinth, and surprise surprise there is a minotaur. Which obviously we were expecting. What we were not expecting is that the minotaur would have a hair lip, and a big one at that. In fact, I am almost 100% certain that this minotaur was once one of the children you see on those commercials that you can donate 2 dollars per month, and save that child. Well guess what lady on tv who probably doesn't give a crap about that poor little hair lip child. I know exactly what is happening to those children now. The gig is up, and now everyone knows that your organization is a scam to collect money, and then ship children to Hades and turn them into minotaurs that roam the confined walls of labyrinths, both rock and hedge. Honestly, I would donate my money to get one of those. I have always wanted a hedge labyrinth and a minotaur. That my friends is going on my bucket list, and now I know exactly how to get it. So Perseus, after a long and drawn out fight that he probably should have lost, beats the minotaur, and they go and free Zeus, and somehow get transported out of there before they get killed. So then they appear next to this military camp where they are preparing for Kronos. I really had to laugh here. Kronos is essentially a volcanic eruption that has taken the shape of an enormous human. Why on earth is there an army of humans waiting to take on this thing? What a bunch of morons. So, right before they teleported out of Kronos's lair thing. Zeus was stabbed by a trident. So Zeus is dying, and Perseus and everyone else is freaking out, but Perseus is like, "I gotta fight Ares because he is a giant douche bag." So he prays to Ares or something, and tells him to meet at the temple of the Gods to fight. So Ares shows up there with Perseus's child. So after another long battle that Perseus should have lost, Perseus wins. Then he gets on black Pegasus, and flies to go fight Kronos. During this time the army waiting for Kronos is getting pummeled by these double torso lava things that Kronos is shooting out of his butt or something. So then Hades shows up, and he admits that Ares has gone out of control and heals Zeus so that they can try and stop Kronos from ruining everything. So they team up, and start throwing lightning (Zeus) and black dust? (Hades) at Kronos to try and knock him over or something. Then flies in Perseus on drunk Pegasus with Perseus holding this super weapon consisting of Zeus's thunder bolt, Poseidon's trident, and Ares's club thing. This is apparently what they used to trap Kronos in the first place. So Perseus and Pegasus fly right at Kronos, and drunk Pegasus flies right into the lava that is coming off of Kronos's hands as he flails them about at an attempt to, I assume, walk faster. Anyway, after doing that a couple of times they finally fly into Kronos's open mouth, and he explodes, and drunk Pegasus and Perseus fly away wound free. Oh yeah, and Zeus dies for some reason, and Hades lives but has no power. So yeah. I have now saved you between $8 and $10 depending on which version you were going to waste you money on.

I gotta be honest guys. I really did enjoy this movie, but not for the reasons that were suppose to be enjoyed. I laughed so hard at this movie, and its failures. The people I was with were also very enthused about making fun of the movie the entire time. It got to the point where we had other people in the theater laughing with us when important characters were dying. That is how bad this movie was. No one in the theater even cared enough to tell us to shut up.

It is amazing to me that the people who made this movie pretty much made the same mistake twice. Honestly, the only thing that I remember about the first movie was that through the entire movie Perseus was suppose to stop this Kraken, and when this enormous WWF fish looking villain came out of the water to destroy the city, Perseus holds up Medusa's head which turns the Kraken into stone and then it crumbles into the water. The biggest climactic put down ever. The same freaking thing happened in this movie. Perseus easily flies into the mouth of Kronos and he explodes. The End. Are you freaking kidding me? What happened to a battle between gods? Disney got it right in Hercules. The end of that movie is freaking awesome. The people that made this movie could have learned a thing or two from that.

You want to know a sad little statistic? Well I am going to tell you anyway. They spent around 272 million dollars on the making of these two films. Can you believe that? You would think a person might spend a little time making the movie good if they are gonna drop that kind of cash on it. I personally think there should be some kind of movie committee that approves high budget films, and if they completely suck they take the money that they were gonna spend on the movie, and turn it into a scholarship fund that awards 1000 kids that can write a better screen play a full ride scholarship to the institution of their choice. Because I can guarantee that there are at least 1000 people that could write a movie better than this movie and its predecessor. I bet that I could grab 100o people out of a Kanye West concert that could write a script better than that, and those people are duuuummb. I am sorry, if you like Kanye West you are probably one of the people I referred to in the beginning of this post that liked Wrath of the Titans, and you should probably spend your time doing things more suited to you like coloring outside of the lines, struggling to put together a 25 piece puzzle, and being a minority. Instead of sounding out every word of my blog, and asking your mom to help you with the big words. Your mom is 83, and she can't see the words on the screen because she is in the kitchen making sweet potato pie and fried chicken. So stop asking for her help, and try to figure out what sport you are going to make millions of dollars playing in.

I would like to apologize to the one black guy that is reading this post right now. I am just jealous that I am not black. Please don't kill me.

The End

Girls, being checked out is flattering. Trust me.

It seems I am in the blogging spirit today. It might be helping that I realized last night after checking out my blog stats that I have had almost 1600 page views on my blog. I decided it is time to monetize. mon·e·tize/ˈmänəˌtīz/ Verb: Convert into or express in the form of currency. Basically what I am saying is that I think I can make some money off of my blog, and money is good. Google will put some ads in my blog, and if people click those ads I make money for each click. How much money you ask? I don't know, but what I do know is that I will make some amount of money. Anyway, that isn't what I got on here to talk about. I mean yeah, that is some of the reason. The more blog posts I make the more page views I will get, and the more money I will get from google. Anyway, the main reason I decided to blog is because of a status update that I just put on facebook. I said, "Hey girls, if you want guys to stop checking you out so much, maybe you should consider being less attractive. Otherwise we are going to continue to do what we do best (checking you out). While you do what you do best (be attractive). Capisce?" I started to think about what I said, and I realized that not only should girls not get offended that guys are checking them out. They should realize that it is a compliment. It is our way of saying, "Hey, I think you are an attractive individual." I know a lot of women think that guys are thinking dirty thoughts when we check them out, or that we are picturing them naked or something like that. Let me put that myth to rest. For me, at least, I have a really bad imagination. If I tried to picture a girl naked in my head I would most likely end up with a mental image of a fat old guy in a pink tutu, or I would get distracted during my thought process and start thinking about something else. When I am looking at a girl I am just soaking in her beauty, and enjoying how the room has been lit up since she walked in. And women, don't even pretend you don't check out guys. You think you can get offended about guys checking you out, but you can check out guys all you want? I don't think so. The messed up thing is that when a girl checks out a guy he welcomes it. The guys that really get pissed are the unattractive ones. The term douchebag was likely created by a guy who was jealous of another guy that was getting a ton of female attention. So the jealous guy started calling him the most gross feminine thing he could think of. Probably a true story. We don't necessarily mean it in that gross of a way any more when we call a guy that. It just became a name that you can use to describe a really built guy who gets a lot of female attention, and treats women like objects. Back to my main point though. Girls you should be flattered when a guy checks you out. Maybe walk past him so he can get a better look, and make sure that you actually are attractive. Let's be honest guys there have been times we have been checking a girl out from far away, and when she gets closer you realize you have actually been checking out a guy with long hair. It is really difficult to tell the difference from that far away. Especially if the guy has a shapely figure. I think my favorite thing about when a girl walks past me is when I smell her perfume. Girls can literally render a man completely dumb by wearing a really nice smelling perfume, and then walking past him. I am sure that I have had multiple heart murmurs from such a situation. It is pretty intense.

So ladies, to sum up. Make sure that you properly thank a guy that is checking you out by being flattered, then walking past him, making sure that you have great perfume on, and if you feel really brave give him a wink. The likely hood that he is dead, and or having a heart attack from that experience is pretty high. So you get two things for the price of one. The first thing you get is a compliment since the guy checked you out, and the second thing you get is that the guy is probably dead. So you don't have to worry about some strange guy asking for your number, and stalking you. Unless of course he is a douchebag in which case they are completely immune to girls smelling nice, and walking past them. So all you can really do in that situation is make sure that you have a wooden stake to drive through his heart, or a silver bullet to blow his freaking head off. Because it is likely that he is either a werewolf, or a sparkling vampire, and if movies have told us anything it is that those two creatures cannot be trusted with a woman. Because A. They will impregnate them, and B. They will try to hook up with your rapidly aging baby girl. Yes, I did just reference a movie that I have never seen before, and yes I am about 50% sure that I got some kind of detail wrong about that reference. Do I care? Not really.

Jake out.

Reasons That I Have Grown Tired of Living

I am going to be very up front about this. This is in no way a suicidal blog, or a way for me to get people to feel sorry for me. That is not what I want at all. This is just an outlet for the way I feel. I don't want comments about people feeling sorry for me, or people feeling guilty because they think they are part of the reason that I am writing this post. I am just writing because I can, and this is currently what I am thinking about. Hence the name of my blog. So now that I have done my disclaimer statement here we go.

Reasons that I have grown tired of living:

School-

I can't even tell you how sick of school I am. I have been in school for going on six years, and I haven't even gotten a bachelors degree yet. Hopefully, by the end of summer semester I will have one finally, but even then it isn't a guarantee. I have to hope that my professors will be fair, and not throw in stupid assignments or grade really hard. I also have to hope that I can finish all of my assignments by the time they are due. This is difficult because I know that half of the assignments are total bull crap. They don't apply to me at all. When did school become "do all of this work because I said so" instead of "learn all of this stuff because you need to?" I don't really care when it became like that. I just care that I have to deal with it. I want to learn things that I want to learn. I do not enjoy, and I can barely tolerate things that I don't enjoy doing.

I hate working-

This is a huge problem. I really don't like to work. I enjoy doing things that are enjoyable. I believe that life is about learning and working for things, but I don't personally believe in working for things that I have no passion for. I mentally cannot work for very long on something that means absolutely nothing to me. That is just how I am. I can't work dead end jobs, and I can't work jobs for people that think they know everything, or that won't fix problems with the work situation. If I can't land a job that suits me well. Then I won't be living in the first place. So what is the point of being alive in that situation?

I can't trust people-

I have somewhat touched on this subject before, but I think I will go into a little more detail. You can barely trust anyone, and even the people you completely trust you can't always count on. They have lives, and sometimes their lives don't always have room for you. Then there are the people that you can't trust, which for me is pretty much 99.999999999999% of the worlds population. People are selfish, they lie, and they just can't be trusted. I can't even trust myself. Things that I get mad at other people for I am guilty of. Unfortunately for me, not everyone can see that in themselves. So there are the select few of us that see all of our faults all of the time, and it drives me completely freaking nuts. I am sure that there are faults of mine that I still have picked up on, and even that drives me crazy. I think that I can count on myself to be consistent, but I can't. People say that you can't control anyone but yourself. I disagree with that statement, because I can't even control myself half of the time. I try, but I always fall up short. Anyway back to other people. They can be evil, manipulative, and in some cases they just want to hurt you because that makes them feel better. The sad thing is that I bet most of them don't even realize that they are that way. They live life being completely unaware of their actions. Ignorance really is bliss, and I seem to be living a life completely empty of bliss.

The world is a screwed up place-

This is pretty self explanatory. There are wars, corrupt leaders, toppling economies, natural disasters, and countless other problems. I am personally sick of it all. I just want to live in peace. That has been my life's entire goal, but it seems that I am almost completely alone in that endeavor. Most people seem to enjoy causing mass chaos, and making everything over complicated to the point that can cause severe mental illness. I am just sick of the turmoil.

Debt-

I am not of fan of not having money. I am claustrophobic in 2 ways. With tight spaces, and tight situations. When life gets a little too crazy I literally have a hard time breathing, and the money situation is the worst. I think I might actually die of suffocation if I was completely poor. So I have come up with a few short term ways of having money. A $500 credit card, and school loans. Things of that nature. Things that when the time comes I will have to pay back, and if I don't have the funds when the time comes to pay it back I am pretty much screwed. I will have absolutely nothing if I can't pay them back. Sadly, school doesn't exactly seem like it is paying off the way that it should. Even if I can get a job, it will probably not pay enough and I will be working for a boss that is closely related to satan. How is that living exactly? I would rather not be alive in that situation.

Health issues-

It seems that life has handed me an interesting, and really crappy card when it comes to health. I am over weight (surprise to those who didn't know), and I have a pretty bad back whose vertebrae pinch on nerves that, when I have been walking around for too long, eventually make my legs go to sleep. These are among other health issues that I can't completely recall for whatever reason. Needless to say it really sucks. I kind of wonder if the only thing in my body that even works somewhat is my brain. I would have much rather been an in shape person. Unfortunately, I have not the will power to do anything about my health situation, but we will get to the reason for that later. Another thing about health that is understandable, but still annoying, is hygiene. I gotta be honest showering, shaving, brushing my teeth, and whatever else is probably the biggest nuisance ever. Just incase you were wondering I do all of those things, but it doesn't mean that I enjoy it at all. In fact, I loathe every minute of it. I wish that I could put my body on auto pilot for those parts of the day, because it is just one more thing that I can't stand doing. Yet, I know that I will continue to do it because I hold on to the small possibility that I might one day get a girlfriend. But, more on that in a little bit.

Insects-

I hate them. In my ideal world there would only be me, and a bunch of attractive women, and a few of my best friends. Did you notice how there were no insects in my ideal world? That is because I do not like them at all. I can't even do anything without worrying if there is going to be some kind of insect like a spider or a roach that is gonna pop up out of nowhere and freak me the crap out. It almost feels like every insects entire life mission is to mess with me, or freak me out. I gotta be honest I am sick of every single one of those beady eyed little #@!%&#@s. I hate them all!

Lack of friends-

Lately, it seems like I hardly have any friends. It is a serious downer. All the friends I use to have either moved away, or got married. The friends that are still around have new friends now, and I am not a part of their group. It really isn't that easy to get back in with people that have their own new group of friends now. So every time I see these people it is just an awkward hello, and some small talk. This is all just pointless, because in the end they are gonna go hang out with their friends, and I am still gonna be sitting there by myself or with one of the 3 people I still hang out with. It is really depressing. Then I try to make new friends, but they just act like they don't want anything to do with me. I don't know if that is the message they are trying to send, or if they just don't have enough time for new friends, but either way it sucks. Really all anyone is really looking for is a significant other anyway. That is most likely why it is so difficult to make any new friends. Either they are in a relationship, or they just hang out exclusively with people that they would potentially date. I am in neither of those categories from what I have observed.

Women-

The sad thing is that none of the other stuff matters when it comes to women. They literally have all the power to determine whether or not I am tired of living. I have absolutely no drive being single. What I am I working towards? I have no one but myself to provide for. Honestly, I don't really care much for myself. I let my health stay at a crappy level, because I have no one to be healthy for. I can't stand school, because once I finish and get a job the only thing I will be providing for is myself. What is the point of that? I don't care if I trust people as long as I have one person that I can trust. My "other half" if you will. The world is a screwed up place, but it is worth trying to fix for someone else. Debt becomes something that you can over come if there is someone to overcome it with. Insects could be less scary if there was someone that I was killing them for. I would likely be able to stop focusing on my own faults if I had someone to focus my attention on. Do you see what I am saying? In my eyes the reason worth living is that there could be that one person that is essentially your soul mate. The person that allows you to stop focusing on yourself, and makes it possible to live instead of survive. I don't think that having another person in my life would make life at all any easier, but it would definitely make it worth it. I feel like my entire 24 years of living has been one enormous wait for the girl that will make me feel alive. I could be wrong about all of this, but this is just how I feel, and nothing has really happened to make me believe any different. Pretty much every second I live is only because I hope that maybe the next second I will meet the girl that will make every second leading up to and after it worth the wait. I'm not gonna lie. Most of the time I don't think it will ever happen, but I guess it is worth the gamble. Am I a hopeless romantic? Pretty much.

Disclaimer: Again I don't want any comments about people feeling sorry for me, or any crap like that. This is my outlet, and I am using it. Every time people make comments feeling sorry for me I am less likely to open up like this again. I also would like to add that my next post will more than likely resemble past posts I have made regarding humor. It is not often I post something serious, but I really needed an outlet. I didn't want my brain to explode.