Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Girls, being checked out is flattering. Trust me.

It seems I am in the blogging spirit today. It might be helping that I realized last night after checking out my blog stats that I have had almost 1600 page views on my blog. I decided it is time to monetize. mon·e·tize/ˈmänəˌtīz/ Verb: Convert into or express in the form of currency. Basically what I am saying is that I think I can make some money off of my blog, and money is good. Google will put some ads in my blog, and if people click those ads I make money for each click. How much money you ask? I don't know, but what I do know is that I will make some amount of money. Anyway, that isn't what I got on here to talk about. I mean yeah, that is some of the reason. The more blog posts I make the more page views I will get, and the more money I will get from google. Anyway, the main reason I decided to blog is because of a status update that I just put on facebook. I said, "Hey girls, if you want guys to stop checking you out so much, maybe you should consider being less attractive. Otherwise we are going to continue to do what we do best (checking you out). While you do what you do best (be attractive). Capisce?" I started to think about what I said, and I realized that not only should girls not get offended that guys are checking them out. They should realize that it is a compliment. It is our way of saying, "Hey, I think you are an attractive individual." I know a lot of women think that guys are thinking dirty thoughts when we check them out, or that we are picturing them naked or something like that. Let me put that myth to rest. For me, at least, I have a really bad imagination. If I tried to picture a girl naked in my head I would most likely end up with a mental image of a fat old guy in a pink tutu, or I would get distracted during my thought process and start thinking about something else. When I am looking at a girl I am just soaking in her beauty, and enjoying how the room has been lit up since she walked in. And women, don't even pretend you don't check out guys. You think you can get offended about guys checking you out, but you can check out guys all you want? I don't think so. The messed up thing is that when a girl checks out a guy he welcomes it. The guys that really get pissed are the unattractive ones. The term douchebag was likely created by a guy who was jealous of another guy that was getting a ton of female attention. So the jealous guy started calling him the most gross feminine thing he could think of. Probably a true story. We don't necessarily mean it in that gross of a way any more when we call a guy that. It just became a name that you can use to describe a really built guy who gets a lot of female attention, and treats women like objects. Back to my main point though. Girls you should be flattered when a guy checks you out. Maybe walk past him so he can get a better look, and make sure that you actually are attractive. Let's be honest guys there have been times we have been checking a girl out from far away, and when she gets closer you realize you have actually been checking out a guy with long hair. It is really difficult to tell the difference from that far away. Especially if the guy has a shapely figure. I think my favorite thing about when a girl walks past me is when I smell her perfume. Girls can literally render a man completely dumb by wearing a really nice smelling perfume, and then walking past him. I am sure that I have had multiple heart murmurs from such a situation. It is pretty intense.

So ladies, to sum up. Make sure that you properly thank a guy that is checking you out by being flattered, then walking past him, making sure that you have great perfume on, and if you feel really brave give him a wink. The likely hood that he is dead, and or having a heart attack from that experience is pretty high. So you get two things for the price of one. The first thing you get is a compliment since the guy checked you out, and the second thing you get is that the guy is probably dead. So you don't have to worry about some strange guy asking for your number, and stalking you. Unless of course he is a douchebag in which case they are completely immune to girls smelling nice, and walking past them. So all you can really do in that situation is make sure that you have a wooden stake to drive through his heart, or a silver bullet to blow his freaking head off. Because it is likely that he is either a werewolf, or a sparkling vampire, and if movies have told us anything it is that those two creatures cannot be trusted with a woman. Because A. They will impregnate them, and B. They will try to hook up with your rapidly aging baby girl. Yes, I did just reference a movie that I have never seen before, and yes I am about 50% sure that I got some kind of detail wrong about that reference. Do I care? Not really.

Jake out.

1 comment:

  1. You remind me a lot of my son! He is so awesome it is hard to comprehend, and the unbelievable thing about him is that he is so bright and witty and amazing that he literally blinds every girl who comes within viewing range so the poor things can't see how great he is!! This could be a good thing, because not just any girl deserves him, and I'm pretty sure when one comes along who is as kind and good and smart and awesome as he is she will see through those bright rays and recognize the awesomeness underneath it. Love YASM

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