Ok, so I have been on a couple of road trips in the past couple of weeks, and there is something that I really need to address. If you have recently traveled the roads of northern Utah you will have noticed many orange cones, and not so many road workers. Utah has a horrible pattern of having road construction that lasts forever. If they were actually making progress I wouldn't have such a problem with it. My problem is that there is one small section of road that they are working on for a month. Yet, there is another 5 or 6 miles, at the least, of cones blocking most of the road. I have have tried and tried to figure out the reasoning for this. I can't come up with anything. There is a particular part of the freeway that is beyond ridiculous. Not only is there multiple miles of construction cones up, but they are so far out into the open lane that you have to drive on the grating on the side of the road. You know, the stuff that makes really loud noise, and ruins your tires when you drive on it for extended periods of time. Are they just trying to piss people off? I don't even think they have done any construction there. It was the same way months ago when I went up north. Maybe the people over construction in Utah believe that the cones are magical, and when left unattended they come to life and fix the road. This is the only explanation I can think of, or for those of you who enjoy proper grammar, which I don't...This is the only explanation of which I can think. Nothing else would explain their inability to not do any work over so much time. According to physics the amount of power they produced is a number so small I don't even think that many decimal places exist. I am referring of course to the fact that in physics P(power)=W(work)/T(time), work which they do very little of and time of which they take way to much. It is an attempt at humor using the laws of physics to tie it all in. I apologize for that lengthy explanation and the horrible joke. I blame it on the fact that I have been watching The Big Bang Theory a lot. That, and I am a genius that relates every day nonsense to complex concepts. Back to what I was saying. There was one time when I was stuck in traffic on the free way for at least 30-45 minutes between Brigham City and Ogden. There were traffic cones blocking off one of the lanes for miles, and traffic was insanely congested. When I finally reached the end of the construction zone there was a police officer parked on the inside of the cones by himself. There was no construction even going on, what the heck!? Another thing that I noticed over the weekend is that between Salt Lake and Payson there are like 4 different construction areas. Don't you think that a way to piss off less drivers, and do more work, would be to have 1 construction area at a time? They would quadruple the number of people working on each section of the freeway, and limit the amount of construction areas at one time. Thus improving every aspect of freeway construction experience. What is this state run by? apes? No, apes are smarter than that. Probably a combination of turkeys and goldfish. Just to clarify, those animals are the morons of the animal kingdom. Just like politicians are the morons of the human race. I don't understand how a politician is a job. I wish I could get paid to make an idiot of myself and make horrible decisions. We might as well have rocks as our political leaders. Yeah, they can't do anything helpful, but not doing anything could possibly be the best thing that ever happened to our country. At least a rock wouldn't make a decision that the country would regret for 10 years, or get the country into such an enormous amount of debt that we can be bought on ebay for 15 trillion dollars. The good thing about a rock is that it would do nothing, because obviously the people trying to do something are just making things worse. I think the biggest problem with the presidential elections is that you never have a good choice. It is like going to the grocery store and you can only buy cyanide and cigarettes. They are both gonna kill you, but one of them just takes longer. Maybe the next president should just hit the button that launches a bunch of nukes and end it all. That is one way to end world poverty and corruption, pretty sure that stuff can't exist if everyone is dead. Death must be a really scary thing for people that don't believe in God. I don't even know how scientist can even think that we are just the product of a galactic explosion. I don't see how that makes sense. They call religious people stupid, when it is them that are a few scientific discoveries away from proving the existence of God. They are the smartest people in the world, and yet, they are the dumbest people in the world. With that thought I bid you adieu until next time.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Yeah, I don't know what to title this.
What is the deal with people that write their smiley faces like this (: are you kidding me? Half of the time I think that the person wrote a frown face, and I have already started my reply based on that. Do the world a favor, and start writing your smiley faces normal. You are gonna just confuse everyone, with exception to people with dyslexia. Maybe they wouldn't have as much of a problem with it. While I am on the subject of modern communication, who is really annoyed with autocorrect? It is like when I write something completely wrong, it autocorrects it perfectly. This is why I keep it on, it saves me time. But, when I spell something correctly, or I miss one letter, it changes the word to something completely random. Another problem that I face with autocorrect is that when I am sending a text message the last word will be a word that gets autocorrected, and I will be typing fast and hit send, and right after I hit send the last word gets corrected while its sending and there is nothing I can do about it. Although it does bother me, it allows for some good laughs. There is an entire website of autocorrect fails that are pretty hilarious. Maybe the reason they made autocorrect was for that exact reason. They wanted to make life funny, that is why the corrections are so ridiculous. Seriously, have you read some of them, it is insane what some of these words are corrected as. It must be a huge practical joke that the OS programmers for smart phones are in on. I am certain of it.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Education a scandal bigger than Watergate? I'd like to think so.
I could sleep, but I have some things on my mind. I just want to say how much I love the world that we live in. I love technology, and that almost anything we want to know about is literally at our fingertips. I am going to give you an example of what I am talking about. In my eyes, school, in a lot of ways, is a waste of time, and definitely a drain emotionally, physically, and mentally. I believe that this drain that school causes hurts us far more than it helps us. To paraphrase a professor: I don't understand testing. In real life you can use a book, you can ask a colleague if you don't completely understand something, and the internet is right there. I have thought this for years. The fact that a professor said this made me so happy. Finally, a teacher that understands! Anyway, this is a lot leading up to what I was originally going to say. I had an assignment due tonight in a class that I absolutely hate, One of those classes that you have to take for your program, but the class is pretty much just a lot of busy work that no one, except that annoying person in the front of the class that speaks way too much, wants to do. Speaking of that annoying person in the front of the class. How is it that in every single class there is one of those people? Without fail there will be someone sitting in the front of the room that thinks 1. that they are hilarious, 2. that everyone wants to listen to everything they have to say, and 3. that everything that they say is brilliant even though it is clear that they are a little mentally on the slow side. Then there is the other person you hate in the class. The over achiever. The person that when the test is graded based in the high score they scored 100% when everyone else got 75%. I respect this person for the time and effort that they put into their education. I respect that they work hard for their full ride scholarship and their 4.0. But, I hate this person because of cases such as the aforementioned testing scenario. To me life isn't about memorizing a bunch of information that I will likely forget the second the semester is over. Life is about having fun and learning through experiences, and out of interest. I get off subject a lot, for that I apologize. I am just very passionate about how horrible the education system is. Back to what I was saying. I hate my class. Tonight I had an assignment due on a subject that I care nothing about. My mom keeps telling me that since I have to take the class to graduate that I just need to find the "lesson(s) I need to learn" from the class. My problem is that the way my brain thinks doesn't allow me to do that when I know that the class has nothing to do with what I plan to do with my degree. So I had to read something and then answer an essay question about it on blackboard, if you don't know what that is it is basically an extension of the class that is online. Well I am about to read this bogus essay on the paradox of nothing and infinity, which to be honest is an interesting subject, but at this time in my life I could really care less about it because I am trying to educate myself on things relevant to my degree, which is Music and Visual Technologies. If I wanted to learn about the paradox of nothing and infinity I would just google it and read up on it. Funny I mention googling it, because that is exactly what I had to do. As I looked for the reading assignment I realized that I didn't have it (I am pretty sure that it was a print out, and for some reason I didn't get it). So I went to blackboard where there were links to PDF versions of our reading assignments. Well my teacher in this class happens to be that annoying person in the front of the room in this class, and because he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, the PDF version of our reading that he uploaded was sideways. There was no way I was about to read, sideways, a most likely 20+ page essay written by someone that is extremely long winded, and uses words that only a person that reads the dictionary front to back would know. So instead of reading this piece of crap I opened the essay question in blackboard and read it. I was hoping that I would be able to BS it, but unfortunately I didn't completely understand the concept it was asking me to explain. Up until this point I had no idea what the essay would be about. So I googled it a few times using different key words, and omitting certain words. Then, after a few times I found a forum where someone was discussing exactly what I needed to know. JACKPOT! Here is where education pisses me right off! In 4 sentences this guy in the forum explained what I would have been reading about for probably 30 minutes. It really angers me how much education is like this. I am the kind of person that doesn't want to hear about all the crap that people have to say. I want the facts, and to be able to understand the concept. Any more information then that, and I am just wasting my precious brain space.
Just to vent slightly more. Want to know another reason that education angers me? Well if you said no too bad because I am gonna tell you anyway. I started college with a completely optimistic outlook. I wanted to be a music major more than anything in this world. I had an idea of how I wanted to do things, and a very unique outlook on life. What I began noticing after a few years of college is how many people began adopting horrible professor's opinions on things. I could see people getting these ideas in their heads that I knew were very skewed. These professors that you are suppose to trust were teaching not facts, but their opinions. Many of them were breeding new horrible versions of themselves to plant all over the world. What I began to notice is that pretty much every student took the professors word as an absolute fact. These poor students had no idea, and were too young and impressionable to understand what was happening. I can think of the first instances of my noticing this happening. At Dixie State College where I wasted 3 years of my life, and ultimately ruined my chance of being a real musician with a degree that actually was more than just a piece of paper. There was a professor, who shall remain nameless. This professor taught music lessons. He told all of his students exactly what they wanted to hear. He told them that they were amazing, and that they had an incredible talent. That they could be pro. When I heard them perform I wanted to kill myself to get out of the room because it was so awful. That might be an exaggeration, but it was bad. He was lying to these students to get them to keep taking lessons, and to make them believe that they were something that they were not. Another instance that I can think of was when a different professor, who also shall not be named, was conducting. There was a 9/8 measure. This measure was to be conducted in a pattern where there were 9 distinct beats marked by the ictus of the baton. I hope you are following this. Well every time this professor would conduct this passage of music he would conduct 8 beats. He would then get angry at the students for not following him. It was obvious, at least to me, that it was him that was making the mistake. I raised my hand to tell him, and he just got mad at me. This wasn't the only occurrence of this teacher doing this either. It is just the one that sticks out in my mind the most.
Another thing about college education that I would like to point out is General Education. I am pretty sure that I already went to high school. So basically, I get to repeat what I did in high school, and pay, out of pocket for most people, thousands of dollars to do it all over again? This is to get an Associate Degree. In many colleges, at least in Utah, to get a bachelors degree in a certain discipline area you have to take what is basically upper division general ed classes. Usually about 15 or 16 credits. I think at Utah State they called them depth courses. They should have called them debt courses, because unless my math is wrong, which it isn't, 15 or 16 credits is an extra semester of classes. So basically what they are doing is getting an extra semester of tuition out of you, and they say it is to round you as an individual. I say Bull Crap! You just want an extra semester of tuition out of me so that the college can make money. Roughly 20,000 people graduated with a bachelors degree in Utah last year. Let's say that the average tuition is $2,000. That is approximately $40,000,000 dollars that was made in that extra semester of depth courses. Yeah, that is a real statistic. Do you really think that they have our education and our interests at heart? Haha, I seriously doubt it. I have nothing against educating ourselves, but I have a serious problem with the education system in our country. I find it difficult to take a class on something when I can find a tutorial on youtube that pretty much does the trick. Is it credible? I don't really know, but from my experience teachers aren't always credible sources either. Just something to think about.
I am sorry that this post wasn't exactly funny, but it is my blog and I don't get paid to make you laugh, yet, so I can write about whatever I want. So there!
Just to vent slightly more. Want to know another reason that education angers me? Well if you said no too bad because I am gonna tell you anyway. I started college with a completely optimistic outlook. I wanted to be a music major more than anything in this world. I had an idea of how I wanted to do things, and a very unique outlook on life. What I began noticing after a few years of college is how many people began adopting horrible professor's opinions on things. I could see people getting these ideas in their heads that I knew were very skewed. These professors that you are suppose to trust were teaching not facts, but their opinions. Many of them were breeding new horrible versions of themselves to plant all over the world. What I began to notice is that pretty much every student took the professors word as an absolute fact. These poor students had no idea, and were too young and impressionable to understand what was happening. I can think of the first instances of my noticing this happening. At Dixie State College where I wasted 3 years of my life, and ultimately ruined my chance of being a real musician with a degree that actually was more than just a piece of paper. There was a professor, who shall remain nameless. This professor taught music lessons. He told all of his students exactly what they wanted to hear. He told them that they were amazing, and that they had an incredible talent. That they could be pro. When I heard them perform I wanted to kill myself to get out of the room because it was so awful. That might be an exaggeration, but it was bad. He was lying to these students to get them to keep taking lessons, and to make them believe that they were something that they were not. Another instance that I can think of was when a different professor, who also shall not be named, was conducting. There was a 9/8 measure. This measure was to be conducted in a pattern where there were 9 distinct beats marked by the ictus of the baton. I hope you are following this. Well every time this professor would conduct this passage of music he would conduct 8 beats. He would then get angry at the students for not following him. It was obvious, at least to me, that it was him that was making the mistake. I raised my hand to tell him, and he just got mad at me. This wasn't the only occurrence of this teacher doing this either. It is just the one that sticks out in my mind the most.
Another thing about college education that I would like to point out is General Education. I am pretty sure that I already went to high school. So basically, I get to repeat what I did in high school, and pay, out of pocket for most people, thousands of dollars to do it all over again? This is to get an Associate Degree. In many colleges, at least in Utah, to get a bachelors degree in a certain discipline area you have to take what is basically upper division general ed classes. Usually about 15 or 16 credits. I think at Utah State they called them depth courses. They should have called them debt courses, because unless my math is wrong, which it isn't, 15 or 16 credits is an extra semester of classes. So basically what they are doing is getting an extra semester of tuition out of you, and they say it is to round you as an individual. I say Bull Crap! You just want an extra semester of tuition out of me so that the college can make money. Roughly 20,000 people graduated with a bachelors degree in Utah last year. Let's say that the average tuition is $2,000. That is approximately $40,000,000 dollars that was made in that extra semester of depth courses. Yeah, that is a real statistic. Do you really think that they have our education and our interests at heart? Haha, I seriously doubt it. I have nothing against educating ourselves, but I have a serious problem with the education system in our country. I find it difficult to take a class on something when I can find a tutorial on youtube that pretty much does the trick. Is it credible? I don't really know, but from my experience teachers aren't always credible sources either. Just something to think about.
I am sorry that this post wasn't exactly funny, but it is my blog and I don't get paid to make you laugh, yet, so I can write about whatever I want. So there!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Antidisestablishmentarianism...what does that even mean?
I would like to start off by apologizing to those of you who were offended by my last blog. I don't take back anything that I said, but I am sorry that you were offended by it. My reason for even writing in my blog is to provide entertainment for the bored who need a good laugh. Everything I say in my blogs needs to be read with the assumption that extreme sarcasm is being used in everything I say. There are a lot of times I don't agree with anything that I am writing, but I write it because it is funny. Since it was women that were offended by my last post I would like to personally tell you that I hold women in the highest esteem. I believe they are princesses, and should be treated as such. But, I also believe that, generally, women get offended too easily. With men you can pretty much tell us that we are lazy, ugly, useless, and downright stupid. We will agree with you. We know it is true. Do you really want to know why women for thousands of years were the house keepers? It is because they had intuition. They could figure out how to do all the complicated stuff that has to be done in the house. The guys couldn't figure out how to do it, so they just went out into the fields and did manual labor all day because they were big idiots. No wonder scientist think that men evolved from apes. Do you see much of a difference? We are hairy, we grunt when we are hungry, and we scratch our butt and then sniff our hand (that was a reference to a youtube video if you haven't seen it click here). We are just big dumb animals. Women are elegant, caring, and pretty much hope for the human race. Have I sucked up enough yet? Will you guys forgive me for joking about women now? I am going to assume yes, and now I am going to move on.
I was up pretty late last night, and I was watching The Patriot on tv. After about the 4th set of commercials I was thinking does anyone else get angry about commercials when a movie they own is on tv? You could just put the movie in the DVD player, but you just keep watching it on tv because you are lazy, even though you hate how often commercials come on. There definitely is something mystical about movies that you own that are on tv. If I am bored out of my mind and I am looking for a movie, I will look through my collection and find nothing that I want to watch. If I then turn on the tv and one of the movies I just dismissed is on I will most likely watch it. Is anyone else like that, or am I alone on that one? It isn't even that I am too lazy to put in the movie and watch it. Maybe it is just the freedom that you have with tv. I feel like when I am watching a movie on DVD I have committed my time to that movie. I can't really change it. Well theoretically I could, but I feel like I am bound to that movie until it is over. With tv I don't feel as bound to my movie or show choice. Once a commercial comes on I can change the channel at my leisure and not feel like I am breaking a commitment. Something I really enjoy about tv is sometimes you are watching something you really like, and then commercials come on for like 5 minutes. By this time I have totally forgotten what the heck I was watching. Then whatever I was watching comes on, and I am ecstatic. It is like forgetting there is dessert after dinner. Then you finish dinner and think to yourself "hmmm...I am still a little hungry, and boy do I have a sweet tooth." Then BAM! Ice cream and cake and cake! It is the greatest feeling ever. I can't even describe how awesome it is. You just have to experience the feeling for yourself. I am gonna completely change the subject right...now.
Clapping. I don't think people understand exactly how or when it is appropriate to do this. I was at an FHE on monday, if you don't know what FHE is ask a mormon near you, and the bishop was just making some announcements. Something like, welcome to the ward, we are happy that you are here, now eat a bunch of food. When he was done people started applauding like he had just performed Stravinsky's Firebird Suite with a didgeridoo, 2 tin flutes, and the Ocarina of Time. According to wikipedia: audiences are usually expected to applaud after a performance, such as a musical concert, speech, or play. I could be wrong, but, to me, he wasn't making a speech, it was more or less just a quick announcement. If the bishop had stood up behind a podium in a large top hat and suit, and said something along the lines of "four score and seven years ago..." it may have been appropriate to clap. But this was just not the case.
On to my last item of business. I know I talk a lot about girls, but it is just because I know so little about them. I am genuinely intrigued by them, and their habits. The one I am currently thinking about is how much girls change their clothes. There have been instances where I have seen a girl 4 times in 1 day, and every time she has been wearing something different. I may be exaggerating, it was probably like 3 times, but still. What is the deal with that? Is that why it takes you so long to get ready in the morning? You are picking out 4 different pairs of clothes to wear throughout the day? It's like you have your morning jogging clothes, your mid-morning pants with a light jacket, your afternoon short sleeve shirt and shorts, and your evening party dress. Then you have pj's. That is a lot to wear. With guys it is like 4 sets of clothes for the entire week. Usually, 1 set for each time we shower...if that. Heck, I know some guys that have 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts, and that is all they have. It is the same way with shoes. Women have like 30 pairs of shoes, and they are all for a different purpose. The high heels for a really hot date, the running shoes, the casual heels that aren't as high as high heels but are still high enough to look professional and not like your on a date, sandals for when you are just hanging out, and Converse for when you want to feel Indy. Obviously that isn't 30, but you get the idea. Guys have 2 pairs of shoes, well at least I do. One pair that I bought last year, and 1 pair that I bought this year. They are completely multipurpose. The shoes I bought this year are what I wear to work, school, to hang out, and to church. The ones I bought last year I wear on camp outs, and things of that nature. Something else I don't really understand about women is how they are attracted to exotic men. So many girls I know would date a black guy, or just any kind of darker skinned guy before they would ever date a white guy. I am confused by this because when it comes to being attracted to a woman, I am pretty racist. I am pretty much only attracted to white, and some latino women. So anyway, that is just another reason why women confuse me.
THE END
I was up pretty late last night, and I was watching The Patriot on tv. After about the 4th set of commercials I was thinking does anyone else get angry about commercials when a movie they own is on tv? You could just put the movie in the DVD player, but you just keep watching it on tv because you are lazy, even though you hate how often commercials come on. There definitely is something mystical about movies that you own that are on tv. If I am bored out of my mind and I am looking for a movie, I will look through my collection and find nothing that I want to watch. If I then turn on the tv and one of the movies I just dismissed is on I will most likely watch it. Is anyone else like that, or am I alone on that one? It isn't even that I am too lazy to put in the movie and watch it. Maybe it is just the freedom that you have with tv. I feel like when I am watching a movie on DVD I have committed my time to that movie. I can't really change it. Well theoretically I could, but I feel like I am bound to that movie until it is over. With tv I don't feel as bound to my movie or show choice. Once a commercial comes on I can change the channel at my leisure and not feel like I am breaking a commitment. Something I really enjoy about tv is sometimes you are watching something you really like, and then commercials come on for like 5 minutes. By this time I have totally forgotten what the heck I was watching. Then whatever I was watching comes on, and I am ecstatic. It is like forgetting there is dessert after dinner. Then you finish dinner and think to yourself "hmmm...I am still a little hungry, and boy do I have a sweet tooth." Then BAM! Ice cream and cake and cake! It is the greatest feeling ever. I can't even describe how awesome it is. You just have to experience the feeling for yourself. I am gonna completely change the subject right...now.
Clapping. I don't think people understand exactly how or when it is appropriate to do this. I was at an FHE on monday, if you don't know what FHE is ask a mormon near you, and the bishop was just making some announcements. Something like, welcome to the ward, we are happy that you are here, now eat a bunch of food. When he was done people started applauding like he had just performed Stravinsky's Firebird Suite with a didgeridoo, 2 tin flutes, and the Ocarina of Time. According to wikipedia: audiences are usually expected to applaud after a performance, such as a musical concert, speech, or play. I could be wrong, but, to me, he wasn't making a speech, it was more or less just a quick announcement. If the bishop had stood up behind a podium in a large top hat and suit, and said something along the lines of "four score and seven years ago..." it may have been appropriate to clap. But this was just not the case.
On to my last item of business. I know I talk a lot about girls, but it is just because I know so little about them. I am genuinely intrigued by them, and their habits. The one I am currently thinking about is how much girls change their clothes. There have been instances where I have seen a girl 4 times in 1 day, and every time she has been wearing something different. I may be exaggerating, it was probably like 3 times, but still. What is the deal with that? Is that why it takes you so long to get ready in the morning? You are picking out 4 different pairs of clothes to wear throughout the day? It's like you have your morning jogging clothes, your mid-morning pants with a light jacket, your afternoon short sleeve shirt and shorts, and your evening party dress. Then you have pj's. That is a lot to wear. With guys it is like 4 sets of clothes for the entire week. Usually, 1 set for each time we shower...if that. Heck, I know some guys that have 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts, and that is all they have. It is the same way with shoes. Women have like 30 pairs of shoes, and they are all for a different purpose. The high heels for a really hot date, the running shoes, the casual heels that aren't as high as high heels but are still high enough to look professional and not like your on a date, sandals for when you are just hanging out, and Converse for when you want to feel Indy. Obviously that isn't 30, but you get the idea. Guys have 2 pairs of shoes, well at least I do. One pair that I bought last year, and 1 pair that I bought this year. They are completely multipurpose. The shoes I bought this year are what I wear to work, school, to hang out, and to church. The ones I bought last year I wear on camp outs, and things of that nature. Something else I don't really understand about women is how they are attracted to exotic men. So many girls I know would date a black guy, or just any kind of darker skinned guy before they would ever date a white guy. I am confused by this because when it comes to being attracted to a woman, I am pretty racist. I am pretty much only attracted to white, and some latino women. So anyway, that is just another reason why women confuse me.
THE END
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)